Tag Archives: kids

Wanting What You Can’t Have

I’m reading this truly inspirational book, Women Food and God by Geneen Roth, and I’m finding something on each page to blog about. Seriously. Has anyone else read it yet?

I’ve struggled with my body image ever since I can remember and it seems I’ve been on a downward spiral about my looks for a while now. I picked up this book to, hopefully, help with that. It turns out that this book is about so much more than eating and weight and body image…especially if you’re looking.

One particular passage reads: “Hell is the lack of connection between the thought that she wants to eat the entire cake and the reality that eating the cake would send her into a diabetic coma. It’s not her eating that is killing her, it’s her refusal to accept her situation.” Now, I don’t have a problem with wanting to eat an entire cake. But I do have days where I would like a different situation. It’s true.

Days when Olivia accidentally pees on the couch and then throws her poopy diaper down the stairs only to have me step in it and then throws her macaroni and cheese all over the floor because it’s too hot and the dogs are barking incessantly because I’m not right there to let them in and Matty’s crying because he doesn’t like whatever’s on his plate and Gabe’s complaining that I didn’t cuddle with him long enough before bed and Matt’s been gone the entire day. Days like that. Where I want to be anywhere but my kitchen dealing with all of this crap. Days when if I had a genie in a bottle I’d use all 3 wishes to take the Cri du Chat away so she’d use the potty like a normal 9-year-old and eat her damn mac and cheese. Days when I just want normal. I don’t want stares, I don’t want questions, I don’t want another doctor appointment, I don’t want her to be who she is. And those days ARE absolute hell. To get caught up in that line of thinking is absolutely miserable. Because guess what? There’s no genie. She’s not going to be “fixed”. My life is not going to be “normal”.

But you know what else?

I’m ok with that. I have my day in Hell and then I get over it. I don’t dwell on the fact that my life is the way it is. Because can you imagine how awful it would be to spend every day wishing your life was different? That is Hell…and who would want that?

Here’s hoping today’s a normal day…and not a day in Hell.


We’re In This Together—Tuesday Tunes

I am in love with this song by Alicia Keys. I know, it’s not new. But I’ve been listening to it all the time lately and I love it. I love the lyrics, I love her voice, I love the beat.

Take a look…

I’m feeling a little protective of my family these days. We just had major tornadoes rip through this area and they just missed us. My sister’s friend’s sister (got that?) and her son were killed by the tornadoes…and they live about 20 minutes away from here. It hit the town where I grew up pretty badly. Somehow, it went right around our town. But it could have just as easily been us. From all the reports I’ve been reading, it sounds as though many people were asleep and weren’t able to hear the sirens so they could take shelter. It’s just so heartbreaking…and another reminder of how precious life is.

I feel as though my little family of five fits so well together. We were out to dinner last night to celebrate my MIL’s retirment and I was sitting with the kids and just marveling at how well my kids get along and behave. Now don’t get me wrong, they argue and fight. But not very often. The boys are best buddies; they include their sister; they love each other. Olivia gets the boys laughing, she gives them kisses, she reminds them that it’s ok to be loving and sweet even though they’re boys. They’re all respectful to Matt and I…they’re just sweet and all-around good kids. When I listen to this song, I think of my family; I think of how perfectly we were all put together and how wrong it would be if we were ever separated.

We’re in this together, all 5 of us work to make it better and no one can ever get in the way of what I’m feeling.

I’m so very thankful for my precious little family.