I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been waiting and waiting on some test results and couldn’t form thoughts or write about the what-ifs without driving myself insane.
Well, there’s no easy way to say this, I got results today and I have breast cancer.
I. Have. Breast. Cancer.
It still doesn’t seem real. I’m 38. No family history. I had all of my kids before the age of 30 and I breastfed them all. It just happened. I still can’t believe it.
I went in for my annual OBGYN check up two weeks ago and she felt a lump. I was shocked. I do self exams, but I never felt it. So I went last week (after almost 10 days of waiting I might add) for a diagnostic mammogram. They found another suspicious area in my other breast. So I had three biopsies last Thursday. I got the results today. Invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 1. That’s the good news. If you’re going to get breast cancer, this is the one to get. It’s common, treatable and we caught it super early. Thank God. All good news, right? I have an appointment at the University of Michigan on Monday where we will get more results and a treatment plan. I’m definitely having surgery and possibly radiation and chemo. I still can’t believe those words are part of my vocab right now.
We are in shock. And scared. And angry. And in disbelief. We told the boys but not Olivia because we don’t think she’ll understand since I don’t look sick at all. We’ll tell her as things roll along. The boys were upset but they’re OK. I don’t think it’s sunk in yet. I worry about them the most. Hopefully it won’t be as bad for them as I imagine. The worst part for me is putting all of this burden on my family and my friends. I know what it’s like to feel helpless and want to do something, ANYTHING, but there’s not much you can do.
Luckily, we’ve been in a similar spot before. This is similar to what it felt like when we got Olivia’s diagnosis. Very similar. And that turned out more than OK. We’re stronger because of it. We will be a stronger family because of this too.
We are so lucky to be surrounded by so much love and support. Our families are close, we have wonderful friends and coworkers and we will be surrounded with love and support at every turn. Thank God.
We would really appreciate if you would pray and send good thoughts. Pretty please. Prayers or good thoughts or good juju or whatever you believe in that I will heal and my family and friends will be OK. I have WAY too much life left to live so I’m not going anywhere!!!