***Linking up with Heather of the EO today for Just Write. Because I need to just write.***
I can’t keep up with anything. Nothing. I can’t even manage three blog posts in a week, let alone reading anyone else’s blog. I miss it terribly.
I like to have my lesson plans done at least one week in advance; right now I’m lucky if I am two days ahead. I’m not the type to make copies the day of an assignment but that’s what I’m doing.
I like to bake and make meals on the weekends in order to make eating healthy easier on us all; right now I’m lucky if we don’t eat frozen pizza every night for dinner. And laundry? That’s just hilarious if you think I’ve kept up with laundry. It’s clean, mostly, but it’s certainly not folded or put away. The house? Yeah, that’s not clean either.
I’ve been terrible about reading books to the kids at night and that’s one of our favorite things to do. Mostly because I’m so tired that I’d rather just let them play video games or watch TV, but sometimes it’s because I have homework or lesson plans or grading to do. Did I mention I’m taking a class right now? Where the professor typically gives us at least five lengthy, graduate-level articles to read and reflect on each week along with an activity and a semester-long project that we’re supposed to be working on? I’ve never been a last-minute gal, but last week my homework was done at 5 p.m. on a Saturday and it was due at midnight. Phew. Most nights, I’d love nothing more than to curl up under the covers and read with the kids, but lately I’ve been sacrificing it to allow myself more time to get stuff done before I feel like I’m going to collapse.
I worked out after school today, picked up Olivia from her after school group, went to Gabe’s soccer game, came home and fed everyone a crappy dinner of leftovers (for us) and pizza (for the kids) and then retreated to my bedroom to work on homework. Matthew came in before bed and jumped on top of me and my computer and gave me a hug and a kiss. I savored it. But it made me feel sooooo guilty. Clearly I hadn’t spent enough time with him today and he was feeling it. I hate that feeling. But I’m stretched so thin, I’m not sure what else I can do.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way which is why I’m sending this out into the void. It makes us all feel better to know we’re not alone, right?
You are so not alone. For some reason, the last couple months have seemed especially brutal to a lot of people I know (myself included) and it feels like we are all barely keeping our heads above water. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming… swimming… swimming. Now that song is stuck in your head – and mine 🙂
What is the song? I need to listen to it :o) Hang in there! You are the best mom & wife & person I know! You are doing enough. They know it! Love you!
I can’t tell you how many times my sister and I have both said it seems like it’s impossible to be a good mother, wife and teacher all at the same time. It always seems that we are sacrificing at least one to be good at another. And then the next week we try to switch our focus and fall behind somewhere else.
Here’s what I’ve decided the main problem is: our idea of “good” is what many other people consider “over-the-top amazing”. We are holding ourselves to such ridiculously high expectations of what we think good mothers, wives and teachers should be. Sometimes it’s perfectly fine (hell, it’s great!) to have a filthy house because you chose instead to cuddle the kids longer… It’s okay to eat frozen pizza because it means you spent more time on other things that mattered while bellies were still being filled… It’s okay that test papers weren’t returned for three days because it means you got 30 minutes instead to take care of yourself.
It’s okay for us to just be good instead of exceptional. (Please remind me of that too!) and for the record… I think that your “good enough” is ridiculously exceptional and amazing! Love you!!!
Oh sweetie I am right there with ya! I’m not taking a class but I feel as though I’m constantly running in a hundred different directions. I keep telling myself this too shall pass but that doesn’t change the piles of laundry everywhere. I get excited to have friends over for dinner just so I have to clean my house! Hugs to you my friend.
I’m so with you. I’ve been in one minute at a time mode a lot lately, and I am not a fan. Hang in there. Maybe when spring finally gets here we will get a new burst of energy!
Awww. That’s how I felt when I was getting my Master’s and while being pregnant with Gabe and having a one and three year old at home. Spring Break and then Summer Vacation is right around the corner 🙂
I found you at Heather’s EO linkup. I’m reading this thinking…Um…I might write once a week…and I’m not in school…and I’m not a full time teacher. And my daughter’s in college, so I have only one kid at home. You are doing 80 times more than me. I think you should be officially granted recess.
Dear Elastamom, is it possible that you are stretched too thin? Would it be so awful if you didn’t blog? Or do you enjoy that? What can you let go so you can read to those kiddos? It sounds like you love reading. Who cares if you eat pizza and peanut butter sandwiches? I promise I won’t tell. Read to them. That’s what they (and you!) will remember. Not what was for dinner. Enjoy.
I’m sending you the permission chip. Have fun. Do what you want. The only rules for how you want to cook and what time to hand in your papers are the ones you make up. Email me and we’ll chat. I promise not to tell if you feed them something wholly un-nutritious. 🙂
Reading and snuggling are their own grow food. Indulge.