I Will, I Won’t

I won’t get to drop you off at your first slumber party and hear all the details the next day. But I will get to have all of the Friday night movie nights I want with you.

I won’t get to watch you play with your friends on your school’s team for whatever sport you’d choose. But I will get to watch you ride your horse and take you swimming.

I won’t get to take you shopping for your first homecoming dress or your senior prom dress. But I will get to keep you home with me and not have to worry about you on these dates. We can always go shopping for new pjs instead.

I won’t have a house full of girls chatting about boys and the latest clothes and the gossip at school. But I will have a house full of boys who love you.

I won’t get to help you learn how to drive and celebrate when you finally get your driver’s license. But I will have the cutest backseat driver around. And I’ll never have to worry about you driving like I will with your brothers.

I won’t get to help you pick a college and study Calculus and prepare for the ACTs. But I will get to help you decide what to do with your life and I will get to have you home with me. Always.

I won’t get to hear about the man you met who makes you feel special and that you want to marry. I won’t get to think that he reminds me of your Dad and that you’ve made the right decision. I won’t get to experience that kind of love with you. But we will never have to give you away.

I won’t get to plan a wedding with you. But that’s ok. I hate planning weddings. I think everyone should elope.

I won’t get to hear “I’m pregnant Mom!” and experience all the joy that comes along with an expanding belly. I won’t get to watch my first-born hold her first-born. But I will get to watch you be your brothers’ children’s favorite aunt, of that I’m sure.

I won’t get to watch you buy your first home and make your own life. But I will get to have you right by my side forever. I will.

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24 responses to “I Will, I Won’t

  1. This post should have come with a tissue warning! You’re such a loving mother. She’s such a sweet, special little girl who’s very lucky to have you. And you’re so lucky to have her.

  2. You are a wonderful mommy. I know exactly how you feel.

  3. Tiffany…

    I have no words.

    You’ve said it perfectly.

  4. Tiffany, this is so bittersweet. You are a fabulous and lucky Mama! I’m with Melissa, it should have come with a tissue warning.

  5. i disagree- i think you will get to go prom dress shopping w/ olivia for sure! 🙂

    • I think so too! She has fantastic friends who will stick with her. There is always a group of girls who go to dances without dates and I am sure one of her friends will want her to come also. I am sure a very nice boy will invite her and you and his mom will talk and decide the best action plan for the evening. I am sure you will be shopping for a prom/homecoming dance.

  6. Loved this, and oh, how I can relate. Though the list of things that kids with Down Syndrome can do is growing by the second, I have these same thoughts all the time because only God in Heaven knows what our Emily will be capable of, and I am trying each day to want what God wants instead of what I crave as the mother of a little girl.

  7. I have some of these same wills/won’t with my son. I understand that pendulum swing of emotions. Yet, every day he surprises me and my list of ‘wills’ grows.

    I will suggest that Olivia may still attend a prom… so many kids these days are going in groups of friends and not paired dates. You never know, you might get to go shopping for that formal gown one day. You can always go as an official chaperone.

  8. Sobbing as usual….thanks a lot : ) The pregnancy one gets me…..I think that still makes me the saddest!

  9. This is so beautiful.

  10. Tissue warning, for sure. I LOVE this, especially the “house full of boys who love you.” Some of us won’t even have some of your wills — not that that should make your won’ts any easier to accept…

  11. oh wow….i love how you always find the silver lining in everything. i’ve said it a million times and i’ll say it again. olivia is truly blessed to have you as her mommy. and i promise not to post anymore deer meat pictures on my blog if you’ll promise to heed all of our requests for a tissue warning!!

  12. I’m at work and I’m crying reading this. In so many ways I am thankful for the day fate brought us together. This is beautiful Tiff, truly beautiful.

  13. You really see grace. That takes goodness and courage.
    Thank you for this post.

  14. I am so looking forward to Olivia being in a beautiful dress for Homecoming/ Coming Home or Prom!!! I have been waiting for that day 🙂

  15. And she will always, always, know the love that surrounds her.

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  19. STOP IT…. Before I burst in to tears! This was beautiful, and I am left speechless.

  20. This is so sweet, and bittersweet at the same time. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl.

  21. I love this, so so much. So honest and inspiring and a great lesson on perspective.

  22. Please excuse me if I sound crazy, but why do you think she will not go on to find love and even a family?

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