You’ll Feel It

**reposted from October 2011**

When I had you, I “got it”. I finally understood how much my Mom loved me. I always felt it, I always knew it, but at that moment, I understood it. And it blew me away. My Mom loved me like this? Whoa.

Will you ever know, truly know, how much I love you? You won’t ever have a child of your own and that, frankly, breaks my heart. Bcause you won’t experience this, will you ever truly know how much I love you?

Will you know how you changed my life just by being born? There was a fork in the road, a major fork, where I could have chosen to be bitter and sad and angry at life or I could choose to live. I chose to live and live happily and live life to the fullest. You were my inspiration for living. Will you ever know that?

Will you know that you cemented a marriage? It’s crazy to me that we were only 3 years in when you were born. What did we know about marriage? Nothing. Nothing at all. You’ve taught us everything. You took a good marriage and made it a great one. One that will last no matter what. Will you ever understand that?

Will you know that you changed your brothers’ lives for the better? They don’t know anything different other than having you for a sister. It makes me so happy to see them blossom into these wonderful, caring, empathetic young men. I can imagine what kind of husbands and fathers they will be and it makes me so filled with joy I almost can’t stand it. Will you ever know it’s because of you that they are who they are?

Will you know how many lives you’ve touched? How many opinions you’ve changed? How many people feel better and more full of joy just by knowing you? Do you know that you light up a room with your smile, your laugh, your funny turn of phrase? Will you know that countless people will choose to work with kids with special needs because of you? Will you ever know how amazing you are?

You might not. You might not ever understand or truly know all that you’ve done. But I promise you one thing. You’ll feel it.