The Joy

I walk in your room and you’ve destroyed it again. Your mattress is on the floor, you’ve taken off your diaper and I just stepped in poop, you’ve peed on the floor, everything is out of your drawers and it smells like a pig barn in there. You sit in the middle of it with your fingers in your ears just in case I yell and say “I peed, Momma”.

I could get angry, I could scream and rant and rave. But I don’t. Even though it’s 5 a.m. and this is the last thing I want to deal with right now. This happens every day and yelling does nothing except make you upset…and me too. I ask you not to do it again, I clean it up as best I can for 5 a.m., get you settled in bed and start my day.

Is this what I want to do multiple times a day? No. Do I wish that you didn’t do things like this constantly? Yes. Would I trade you for anything in the world? No.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the burdens. The diapers, the mess, the constant care-giving. I choose to focus on the joy.

The way you belt out the lyrics to “Someone that I used to know” and “Pumped up kicks” in the back of the car. The way you make your brothers laugh. Your freckles. Your long, colt-like legs in jean shorts. When you look at me and tell me I’m beautiful. How you watch the director’s commentary on Tom and Jerry so you can hear them say “Wacky half-nose” and “scruffy little bear” because it makes you laugh. How you love alliterations in books and giggle when I say them. The way you choose your stuffed animals as if they were friends.

You bring us joy in so many ways. I choose to focus on that.

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18 responses to “The Joy

  1. This is beautiful. You are a very amazing & strong person. I have trouble choosing to see the joy in every day. I will have to try harder. Thanks for the inspiration :o)

  2. Olivia is a very lucky little girl to have been blessed with a mom such as you.

  3. you are definitely an inspiration with these words….olivia is blessed, and i have a feeling that you are too 🙂

  4. We have had to use duct tape over clothing for several years to keep hands out of diaper – tape around the waist and around the ankles, unless it’s footie-pj’s. Every now and then, we try without, and she gets into it without fail! Also pulls the sheets off, but that’s easier to fix. Recently she started plucking at the diaper thru the clothing and got the gel-fluff stuff all over the insides of her pj’s, but another mom online suggested a long-leg leotard (it’s slippery, can’t get a grip). Now we have that underneath a t-shirt and pj pants, and it has been working so far. (fingers crossed…)

  5. you are amazing. Period.

  6. You are such an inspiration, Tiffany.

  7. Thank you, Tiffany, to always showign us the bright side 🙂

  8. It is the joys that make it all worth it.

  9. You are such an inspiration Tiffany! You are so strong and patient what an amazing woman you are. I am blessed to have you as my friend and a guiding light in this journey.

  10. I love that pic! Olivia is getting more gorgeous every time I read your page

  11. What a great picture of your little lady 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your joy and your pain with us. You are a wise and strong woman to choose to focus on the joy – it would be 100% understandable if you wallowed, and I admire the hell out of you for making such an effort not to (I know it’s not always possible!).

  12. Thank you for the reminder…

  13. Inspiring Tiffany. Period.

  14. God I miss that smile and giggle and sass. It’s just not the same here without her

  15. I remember reading this last year and think what great taste Olivia has in music, singing “somebody that I used to know”.

    Every word you write is so appreciated. The care and respect you have for your family is inspirational.

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