Would she be nervous about starting junior high? Or anxious and excited like her brother?
Would she be into Aero and Hollister and begging for new jeans from Abercrombie or would she not care at all?
Would she rather die than be seen in public with me or would I still be cool?
Would she be texting her friends on her new phone? Would she be begging for a Facebook and Instagram account?
Would she want her hair long or short? Would she wish she had curly hair instead of straight?
Would she be ready for an eyebrow wax and a manicure?
Would she be saving her money for Taylor Swift or Bruno Mars tickets or the smphony?
Would she be nice to her little brother or think they’re annoying?
Would she be trying out for soccer or volleyball or cheerleading?
Would she be wishing that boy in homeroom would talk to her?
Would she be fighting with me over the length of her shorts?
Would she be quiet and shy and nervous or social and outgoing?
Would she be good at math or science or think lunch is the best time of day?
Would she have good friends who make good choices or friends that I wasn’t sure about?
Would she love shoes, the funkier the better, or would she be a Converse girl like me?
Would she love her freckles or wish somehow she could make them disappear?
Would she love her body or hate it? Would she even know the word diet? Would she be happy with her new curves or try to hide them?
Would she be self-confident?
Who would she be?
I wonder, too…
She would be great & is great because you are her mother. I can’t imagine how these thoughts must take over & consume you some days. God has blessed you with this amazing girl. So many people have learned so much from you and have been inspired. I take so much for granted. You keep me from doing that on many days. Today is one of those. Wishing you peace & joy. I know you already have so much of both. Love you!
The what if and wonders bother me too, if only… but then I think there must be a reason. Maybe I wouldn’t have him at all or maybe someone else would have him and could they handle him? I try to have faith and keep putting one step in front of the other… But for the record, I’m pretty sure she would be a cheerleader…
I have so much angst with my daughter in first grade. I can’t even imagine all the questions with junior high. I’m sure she will do well as she has (and has always had) you backing her up.
This is such a beautiful, heart-felt post. I wonder about these things too. I wonder, if my Olivia had a complete fifth chromosome, would she still be a little bit shy, would she still be silly and make up awesome stories about her imaginary friend Mush Mush? Would she hate her curly hair or think it’s awesome the way she does now?
We can’t help but wonder even as we cherish what we do have right her e in our arms.
this is a touching post and my heart aches to think of your heartache as you think about these what ifs.
one thing is for sure, though – she would be LOVED!
This post got me right in the gut. You can write, sister.