Did you know that I hate change? I’m no good at it, it drives me nuts, it makes me crazy.
So when I look at my downward spiral of mood and OCDness lately, it’s no wonder.
I have a new job. I will be working outside of the home for the first time in 9 years. Someone else will get Olivia on and off the bus. Someone else will stay with the kids when they are sick, when they have no school. As much as I am excited and looking forward to it, this is a huge change for me. For all of us. I feel like a first year teacher again, totally overwhelmed and excited and anxious and clueless. Everything is new.
Matt has a new job. Even though it’s a wonderful change for us, it’s still a huge adjustment.
Gabe and Olivia are both going to junior high. New school, new teachers, new friends, new building, new bus, new everything. This is a huge adjustment for Olivia especially. That alone would make me insane.
Matthew will be the only one in elementary school. Someone else will be getting him on the bus. Gabe will get him off the bus. Lots of responsibility and changes there too.
My therapist encourages me to practice “self love”. It sounds corny and when she tells me to do that, I always laugh. I laugh because I don’t even know what that is or even where to start. But I’m trying. When I stop and think about the fact that I don’t cope well with change, and I look at all the major changes coming our way, it’s no wonder I’ve been a major nutcase lately. If I approach it with “self love”, I should be proud of myself for getting out of bed in the morning and dealing with it all. So that’s what I’m doing today.
Good job, Self!!! Way to go!!!
Do you handle change well?