It started with a bit of fuzz on her nether region. Which soon became totally full. As for any parent, it’s strange to see your child grow up in these ways. As a parent of a child with special needs, it’s even more strange. You have this daughter, whose body thinks she’s 12, but whose mind thinks she’s a toddler. When they don’t match, it’s very strange. How can one still be wearing a pull-up and have hair down there? But it happens.
Last fall, I noticed that the half-camis weren’t doing their job anymore. It was time for a…*gulp*…bra. We headed out to get fitted and measured and try them on. Too big for camis, too small for real bras, but luckily we found some that worked. It is beyond weird to go bra shopping with your daughter in a stroller. But we did it.
When this happened, Matt threw his hands up and said “I’m out!”. He sort of freaked out when he saw the clasps on the back. These weren’t just pull-them-over-her-head type bras, these were real. He was having a hard time with it. I was too but all of a sudden it hit me how very strange and weird and uncomfortable this must be for him. I spend most of my time keeping myself in the right headspace and Matt’s always there to help me. But now I needed to be there for him. To think of how difficult this must be for him. Normally by age 12, fathers don’t ever see their daughters naked. Ever. Definitely not when hair and bras enter the picture. But for us, it’s a necessity. I can’t always give her a bath or change her clothes or get her dressed. Sometimes he HAS to do it. It’s not lost on me how difficult it must be for him.
It’s so easy for me, since we have a daughter with special needs, to always think about the things that I’m missing out on as a mother to a girl. Most of the time Matt is pretty unaffected by these things. Very little fazes him and for that, and a million other things, I am very thankful. We often talk about how he would feel if our only boy had special needs and he agrees that it would be harder on him. But this is one of those areas that’s much more difficult for him. Bath time, bathroom time, clothes changing time have all entered a whole new dimension that we’re getting used to. It’s another reminder of how lucky I am to have this awesome partner in life who, after the initial “NO WAY JOSE!”, jumps in and goes along.