Can I tell you something? Going bra shopping for your 12-year-old daughter with special needs is weird. And slightly traumatic. And a little sad. But also? A kind of cool rite of passage.
It’s weird because she still loves her stuffed animals, watches Backyardigans, wears footie pjs and plays with Fisher Price Little People but yet has “hair” and needs a bra. It’s very weird. Yet at the same time, this is what we’re used to and it seems normal. See what I mean? Strange.
It’s traumatic because I’m not ready for her to grow up. Not at all. She starts junior high next year and now she needs a bra. I’m just not ready, damn it! You know who’s even less ready? Matt. He is completely freaked out by the whole thing. I was showing him our wares when we got home from shopping and he wouldn’t even look at them. At first it was cute, then I got a little angry. I need some help and support here, not for him to bury his head in the sand. I’m sure it will just take a little time.
It’s a little sad because it’s a rite of passage that should be a big deal. In some ways it is, but not to her. She’s just annoyed that she has to wear it. It should be the beginning of boys and slumber parties and all of that teenage girl stuff, but it’s not. Not the same as it would be if she was “typical”. But that’s ok. It’s something that it’s just a little sad for me and not very sad, right?
We looked in quite a few places, with a stop at the Disney Store squeezed in, and finally found some cute little slightly padded sports-bra-type bras. She didn’t seem too annoyed by them which is good. She’s been wearing the half-camis for a while now so I don’t think they feel that different. Did you know it’s almost impossible to find a plain white one? It is.
I feel like we’re right on the edge these days. One day soon she’s going to wake up and be a full-fledged teenager. I know every Mom goes through this but it’s my first time and it’s weird and sad and traumatic but also a little happy. I’m very thankful that I have my little girl and I get to watch her grow up.
Elastamom's Excerpts 
As you know, I’m in the same puberty zone with my D. It’s hard to watch and hard to swallow, and you’re right–Daddy wants NO part of it!
My husband already dreads puberty with our girls who are currently 2 & 4. I can’t imagine bra shopping with them at all, and I can only hope he grows into the idea of helping as yours will surely do too. Sometimes it seems that just when we get used to one stage, the next is upon us and we are forced to adjust. Here’s hoping for a smooth transition.
I think you capture the in-between-ness of it all just perfectly. You have a gift for teasing out the gems in these bittersweet moments. xo
My husband likes to pretend that our ten year old doesn’t consistenly wear sports bras these days. He’s all about letting them both stay little for as long as possible.
Poor Matt. And you! hehe 🙂 He will get used to it, I’m sure. It is scary for everyone! I’m glad Olivia doesn’t seem too bothered by it, that certainly makes things easier. Good idea going with the sports bras to start!
i can’t even imagine my husband when the time comes for bras! he’ll probably be right there with matt 😉
That photograph of your daughter is just beautiful. She is a little lady!
I can’t imagine how you feel and how time must have gone by so quickly.
I think most dads are creeped out by bras in general in regards to their own daughters. As soon as the newness dissipates maybe your husband will feel better about your daughter growing up?
There might be boy issues with your sons that he can manage when the time comes to make this up to you 🙂
Getting our young daughters any sort of ‘grown up’ undergarment can be traumatic. And, poor dads… they don’t like to think about their baby girls ever growing up.