Family Bathroom

A few weeks ago, we were all shopping at JCPenney. After carefully selecting a new Angry Birds winter hat, Matthew had to pee. I did as well so I suggested we use the family bathroom since it was unoccupied. Matthew is still young enough to be ok with that. Off we went.

He quickly relieved himself and then it was my turn. As I’m sitting down doing my business, Matthew is bouncing around the large family bathroom chattering away and exploring. His eyes suddenly land on the tampon/maxi pad machine.

MOM! They have a vending machine in here!! Do you have any money?

No, I don’t and that’s not a vending machine honey. (Please tell me why I opened my mouth.)

Yes it is!!! There’s a spot for a quarter and it says 25 cents!!!! Is it a gumball??

No, actually it’s a tampon machine. (Again, why do I speak?)

What’s a tampon?

Well, it’s something women use for when they bleed.

Like a band-aid? Why is it just for girls?

Well, women bleed every month.

I don’t see you bleed.

Well, they bleed from their vaginas.

WHAT??????????? WHY????????????

So they can have babies.

Oh, so they bleed when they are having a baby?

No, actually you don’t bleed if you have a baby. Only when you don’t.

So do you just walk up to the machine and put your vagina close and it takes the blood out or what?

*stifling a laugh* No, the machine dispenses a tampon. It’s like a big cotton ball with a string that you put inside your vagina and it collects all the blood.

That is just weird. I’m so glad I’m not a girl.

I know. It’s really weird. Be glad you’re not a girl.

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8 responses to “Family Bathroom

  1. LMAO. Oh that was so funny….and brave of you to say. Ha! I had to have a little conversation with Hunter this past month because our puppy went into heat. I just said dogs bled from their privates when they are old enough to have puppies and that the pup was going to have surgery because we don’t want her to have puppies of her own. Luckily he didn’t ask further questions, I would have had no clue what to say. LOL!!!

  2. Thank you for a laugh this morning. Hate these conversations but they are good for a giggle!

  3. hey, that description of a tampon was great – nice and simple and quite accurate!

    Let’s all count our blessings that it does NOT work the way he thought though….imagine having to go over to a machine to catch the blood every month…HAHA!

  4. Oh dear. I may have to send T and T to you for a simple, sensible explanation. Thanks for the laugh!!

  5. *snort* Best explanation I’ve heard. And, I agree. It is weird.

  6. Oh my! I got a GREAT laugh out of that one. I read it to Neal and he chuckled as well. Great description of a tampon and I’m glad I’m not you. I still tell my girls that it’s just something that happens when you are a mommy, of course they are only 4 and 6.

  7. You are hilarious. I love this story…

  8. This made me smile…Oh, kids. You got to love them.

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