Lately my spirit feels horribly tattered. I’m having trouble keeping my chin up, finding the happy things and being my normal positive self. I think my shoulders can only handle so much and I’ve reached my quota. I find myself thinking that life shouldn’t be this hard. That it’s not fair to have this much to deal with. That things need to be easier or I can’t bear it. I feel so alone in this journey of mine. I feel like no one cares and no one can help me.
I start to think of others who have been through horrible, impossible things and survived. My friend who lost triplets at 25 weeks. My friend who watched her daughter die a slow, painful death at the age of 5. A blogging friend whose son drown in a freak flash flood. Another blogging friend whose young husband dropped dead on the sidewalk in front of her from a rare disease. A friend who recently suffered a miscarriage. I think of all of us who have suffered and had their spirit broken in some way and still kept going.
You know what I think the secret is? To just breathe. There are days when I feel like I’m going to absolutely crumble and I just remind myself to breathe. Because in that moment when your heart is broken and your spirit is crushed and you feel all alone, what else can you do?
So you breathe and you put one foot in front of the other and the next thing you know, you find something happy. Your daughter makes you laugh, your son gives you a compliment, your husband does something sweet and the smile returns to your face and you don’t have to think about breathing. You remember you’re not alone and that someone cares and you’re going to be OK.
So today I will just breathe and I’m sure when I look around me, something will repair my spirit just a little bit. And I wanted you all to know that I’m sitting here, breathing right along with you.