Lately my spirit feels horribly tattered. I’m having trouble keeping my chin up, finding the happy things and being my normal positive self. I think my shoulders can only handle so much and I’ve reached my quota. I find myself thinking that life shouldn’t be this hard. That it’s not fair to have this much to deal with. That things need to be easier or I can’t bear it. I feel so alone in this journey of mine. I feel like no one cares and no one can help me.
I start to think of others who have been through horrible, impossible things and survived. My friend who lost triplets at 25 weeks. My friend who watched her daughter die a slow, painful death at the age of 5. A blogging friend whose son drown in a freak flash flood. Another blogging friend whose young husband dropped dead on the sidewalk in front of her from a rare disease. A friend who recently suffered a miscarriage. I think of all of us who have suffered and had their spirit broken in some way and still kept going.
You know what I think the secret is? To just breathe. There are days when I feel like I’m going to absolutely crumble and I just remind myself to breathe. Because in that moment when your heart is broken and your spirit is crushed and you feel all alone, what else can you do?
So you breathe and you put one foot in front of the other and the next thing you know, you find something happy. Your daughter makes you laugh, your son gives you a compliment, your husband does something sweet and the smile returns to your face and you don’t have to think about breathing. You remember you’re not alone and that someone cares and you’re going to be OK.
So today I will just breathe and I’m sure when I look around me, something will repair my spirit just a little bit. And I wanted you all to know that I’m sitting here, breathing right along with you.
Elastamom's Excerpts 
Beautiful song. I hear you loud and clear. Been asking myself the same questions lately. Breathing is right on.
You need to listen to Just Breathe by Pearl Jam & Breathe by Ryan Star. Two songs that I thought of when I read this. Love you!
Tiffany, your courage in the face of doubt and weight is remarkable. I will be praying for you, that you are able to move through this struggle to a place of peace soon. Thank you for being so willing to share your heart with others. Your family is so very blessed to have your kind of love driving it.
I just want to remind you that even though you might see others as having ‘more’ or ‘harder’ things to deal with, it doesn’t negate your pain, your struggle, your burden. You are doing the very best you can and sometimes, that feels like it’s not enough. But it is. It really is.
There have been days when it takes all I have to breath. But, like you said, I think of all my friends going through far worse and surviving. Sometimes it’s more than one day at a time, it’s one hour, one minute at a time. Hugs!
Yes to everything you said. Some days it is overwhelming. How do we reconcile all of this? By breathing. And sinking into the present moment.
Not only this is “just breathing” good advice, but you write with such empathy and concern for others. Every mother – every person – should read this post and feel the overwhelm “ingness” and the courage in it. Thank you.
First I must say how very much I love Pink and all she stands for. Beautiful song that says it all.
Next I’ll say that usually I read your posts first thing in the morning on my email. Today was a busy day and I just got to it. I’m glad I didn’t read it earlier because I’m in tears right now.
Finally… Breathing and love. That’s what gets you through. Beautiful friends who love you enough to bring food to your house and give you hugs. Beautiful friends who send you flowers on your first day back to work just to say she’s thinking of you. You will never know how much you meant to me then and now.
Exactly. Often the world inside my head is FAR more chaotic than the world outside. One slow step, one deep breath, reminds me that I have the power to calm it. So do you… Keep nourishing your body with air, friend.
Oh my dear friend….I find mmyself feeling this very same way and I also remind myself to breath. And while we all have our own battles to fight ours is just as valid as everyone else’s. (((((HUGS))))