Sometimes I look around at my kids and I think “What the hell happened?” I see leg hair, budding breasts, pimples and big teeth. I smell armpits and sweat and wonder where my little babies have gone. Instead of going to the park and playing Thomas trains, we’re battling over homework and piano, learning how to be organized and running from one practice to the other. I sit back and wonder again “What the hell happened?”
On one hand, it makes me a little wistful and sad. My babies are growing up. I miss the puzzles, the trains and the discovery of every new little thing. On the other hand, I love watching them grow up and I feel so privileged to be able to. They’re amazing and I love being their mother. But do they have to grow up so fast?
The next thing I know, the boys are caught up in playing with Matthew’s new play-doh set. I watch them set it up, get excited over it and play for hours. With play-doh while wearing kool-aid mustaches. And it reminds me that they’re still little.
We go to the park and fish and they’re still excited over worms and the simple act of catching a fish. They run around the park, discovering that you can slide down the rail and the water at the drinking fountain tastes like the river. And it reminds me that they’re still little.
We make our annual trek to the apple orchard and they declare it the best day ever. I try not to think about the day when it might not be cool anymore to spend the day picking apples with your family. But I’m really hoping that day will never come. Today they’re climbing trees, hunting for the smallest apple and taking bites of as many apples as they can. And today I’m reminded that they’re still little.