Today I thought I’d share one of my most commonly used recipes. The one for a meltdown. For Mom.
First, you take a Monday.
Add in one husband who is in career crisis mode and one wife who is pretty miserable at work this year.
Stir in a D grade on a homework assignment that wasn’t shown to the parent until 5 minutes before the bus leaves.
Sprinkle in a son who would rather have Dad or Grandma go on the field trip with him…and tells you so.
Mix all that together until tears form.
Next, fold in a husband who leaves without saying goodbye because the wife is upstairs crying so the kids don’t see.
Let that sit for about 10 minutes until tears dry up.
Now add in a pinch of two little kids who would rather watch TV than get ready for school.
Next, sprinkle in your morning cup of coffee. Oh wait. THERE IS NO COFFEE!!!
Stir in sad feelings about the fact that your daughter doesn’t really fit in and all of the things she will miss out in life. You can do that while you workout and watch an old episode of Felicity in which she and her mother bond over college.
Now add in a torrent of tears. Whisk all of them in. This may take 4-5 hours to reach the correct consistency.
Now sit back and enjoy the perfect meltdown!