June

**Inspired by MamaKat’s writing prompt: Tell us what you’re doing in June.**

A few weeks ago I freaked out over summer. I’m excited for summer, don’t get me wrong, but it’s still overwhelming to think about being with the kids 24/7. I was mostly freaking out over Olivia. I didn’t want a whole summer of her watching TV, destroying her room, flooding the bathroom…you get the idea. If I’m honest, I knew I’d need a break from her. Just a little one. It makes me feel so guilty to say that, but it’s true. The other side of the coin is that she needs a break from me too. It’s great for her to have some independence and be on her own. If she went the whole summer without being away from me, going back to school in the fall would be really difficult. Plus, she’s the type of child that we just need to push in this way.

I was having a hard time finding anything for her though. Anything I could find either cost a fortune or had a mile-long waiting list. Luckily, Matt found something for her. It’s just for June and it’s from 9-2 and it’s awesome. They have a barn with animals and a pool and tons of activities planned. It’s reasonably priced too. At first I felt so guilty that I didn’t want her to go. Then I realized that it would be good for both of us.

Last week when the kids and I were on a bike ride, the boys and I started talking about June and what we wanted to do. I told them Olivia would be at camp for part of the day. All of a sudden, we were making a bucket list of boy things we want to do in June. Things that we can do with her but that are easier to do without her. Things she doesn’t like to do. Mini-golf, go karts, swimming with my full attention, batting cages, park hopping, playing tennis…the list was endless. It made me realize that it’s ok to have a break…for all of us. I forget that they hardly ever get my full attention. It’s just part of the special needs gig. If she’s with us, she requires more than my full attention. It’s just the way it is. It will be nice for them, and me, to spend time just the three of us.

So that’s June for us. For a few hours each day in June, Olivia will go play with friends and animals and swim and become a little more independent while the boys enjoy some Mom time. At 2 o’clock on the dot, we’ll pick her up, hug and kiss her and be so glad she’s ours.