Age

I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. Seriously. This is crazy. I am way too old for this.

Mom! You are not too old. Do you realize how young you are? 56 is young! So young! You could have 40 more years on this planet if you’re lucky. Just do it. For me. Please?

I’m only doing it for you. I don’t care if I ever date another man as long as I live. But if it will make you happy and get you off my back, then fine. Seriously though…who’s going to want to date me? I’m a grandmother for Christ’s sake.

Uh maybe a grandfather? Or any sane man who can see how awesome you are? We’re not talking marriage, Mom, we’re talking about signing up for a dating site. You’re gorgeous and funny and I bet you’ll have 100 replies in the first week! Plus, won’t it be fun going through them all and weeding out all of the weirdos and freaks? You know there are a ton out there, right? Come on! It will be fun.

But this isn’t how it’s done. I’m supposed to meet someone and just get a feeling and then we go out on a date. I’m not supposed to put my picture and personal info on the internet for christ’s sake!

Mom, when was the last time you went anywhere that would allow you to interact with men? Hmmmm?? When? Oh that’s right, NEVER!! You go to work, you go home, you hang out with me and the kids. You go to the gym but I know you and you aren’t talking to anyone at 5:30 a.m. when your hair’s not done. You work with mostly women and you’re the boss so you’re probably not going to meet anyone there. Just try this, please? Pretty please?

Fine. I’ll do it. But I swear to God if it’s nothing but freaks and crazies, I’m deleting my account!

Just click submit already, Mom.

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Can you believe we’ve been writing back and forth for a month now? He’s so funny. And I love his stories about his grandkids. He loves them so much. And he’s not a freak. And he loves action movies! Did you see his picture? Isn’t he cute? I mean as far as 60-somethings go?

Let me read that last email again, Mom. And let me see his picture again. Hmmmm. He sounds pretty awesome. No serial-killer vibes coming from him at all. Are you guys going to meet soon?

Oh, I don’t know. It’s only been a month of emails. We haven’t even talked on the phone yet.

Well, you hate talking on the phone.

I know, but still. Shouldn’t we do that first? Who would have ever though I’d meet someone on a dating site?

Ummmm….me?

Oh yeah. Thanks for making me press send, honey.
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I can’t believe I’m doing this again. I swore I’d never get married again. Ever. This is ridiculous. But I’m so happy.

I’m thinking the third times a charm, Mom. He’s a keeper. He adores you…and us. And I honestly don’t think there are any scary skeletons in his closet. We have a pretty good radar for those now, don’t we?

Yes, that’s true! I’m so excited to share my life with him. Isn’t that weird? It’s strange and wonderful all at the same time. I’m so glad you made me join that site, love.

You’re welcome, Mom. Is it time for the “I told you so” dance yet?

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It’s been a good life, hasn’t it sweet daughter of mine?

Yes, it has, Mom. I’m so glad I got to have you for so long. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Remember how I told you we were going to be old ladies together? I just knew we would be.

Remember how I met Him through that silly dating site that you wanted me to join? If I hadn’t joined, I might have missed out on the 30 best years of my life. I felt young and in love again every day until he passed. I’m so glad you made me do that.

You’re welcome, Mom. It’s pretty amazing to me. That you put yourself out there again and were able to find love. I always knew you had the greatest heart of anyone I’d ever known.

I’m so tired now, baby girl.

I know you are, Mom. I’m here. You can let go.

I’ll always be thankful for you…and that you made me get out there. I love you.

I love you too.