On Tuesday, my 36th birthday, I wrote about my gift to myself. That I would learn to love me just for me. As I thought about this throughout the week, something occurred to me. A good old-fashioned Oprah “Aha!” moment.

It’s all me. I have the power to change how I feel about myself. It’s my choice.

I started thinking how, if I never left my house and only listened to my four angels that live with me, I would think I was perfect. Matt thinks I’m beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, a wonderful wife and a loving mother. The boys adore me and I know that, even if they don’t always say it. Olivia tells me at least once a day that I’m kind and I’m beautiful and that she loves me. If I only listened to them, I’d think I was pretty amazing.

So all I need to do is shut up the bitch in my head, right?

Then I extended my circle a little bit to my Mom, my sister, my close, dear friends. I know my Mom loves me, thinks I’m beautiful and is proud of me. My sister just wrote on Facebook the other day that she thinks I’m amazing. My friends love me. Me! Not my waist size, not my hair color, not the clothes I wear, me. They think I’m funny, a good listener, a great Mom and they enjoy my company. And they tell me I’m beautiful. If I only listened to them, I’d think I was pretty awesome.

How lucky am I? Pretty damn lucky to have all these people who think I am great. Me. Just me.

Clearly the only changes that need to be made are within me.

I have thoughts on why the voice inside my head is so mean. I’m not quite sure how to shut her up. But I think the first step is realizing that the power is within me.

I can make the change.



22 responses to “Change

  1. Amen sister! Shut that bitch up! I am trying to do the same with my annoying inner voice :o) I totally agree with the happiness quote at the end too. We are all in charge of our own happiness. No one is going to “make you happy”. We have to choose it ourselves. Every day. It can be hard, but how exciting if we can. Good luck!

  2. Yes. Exactly.
    Shut her up.

  3. Amen to that! Absolutely true…change lies within us only we can change ourselves. And I have to agree with your family and friends. You are pretty amazing πŸ˜‰

  4. The negative voices are so much easier to believe than the positive…even when they are wrong! I love this post.

  5. Oh, there’s a bitch in my head, too. And, man, I hate her. Let’s get together and gossip about our inner bitches, okay?

  6. Oh this honesty is ringing so loudly in my head. I am so right there with you! I am my loudest, harshest critic. And sometimes I get so bad that I twist around the words of the people whom I love so that in my head it sounds like they are critiquing me, too. WHAT IS THAT? Thank you for putting yourself out there like this. And thanks for joining in. I’m having so much fun already!

  7. ivyleagueinsecurities

    Love this. What a powerful message. Thank you.

  8. Oh, yes, where do these voices inside come from? And how do we change those messages? Peace and strength to you in your journey πŸ™‚

  9. So true! I, too, am surrounded by people who think the world of me, who believe in me, who support me … and all I could think of for at least an hour is how wrong my body looks. It starts with me (and you)!

  10. I call this “taming the inner critic”. We have them. Why can’t we just ignore them?

  11. Exactly! Our own voices do the most damage. We need a good muzzle for those inner voices.

  12. The inner critic is the very same voice that shouts love, too. You can listen to both. The difference is knowing when to put some of the words in your mental trash can. Click… poof… gone! Now on to change. Its a good thing. Listen to your heart. πŸ™‚


  13. Self sabotage is always such an enemy. It’s hard to quiet the voices. But know you are not alone. xoxo

  14. That quote? I just pinned it on Pinterest. Amen!

    I struggle with those voices, too. I so often feel that others only see a part of me, and if they could see all of me they might thinki differently. And sometime I think they say nice things only because they have to, because they’re family. I wonder what people would say or think if I died. I worry, you know? But it’s all in my negative nelly brain, I’m sure. And now I’m just rambling.

    So happy to have you for 5 for 5.

  15. true. true. and words i need to tell myself!

  16. When I need to affirm myself, I stand in front of a mirror and I repeat things that my husband and children have said to me. I always tell them how smart and wise and honest they are, so I should probably pay attention to what they have to say, right? πŸ™‚

  17. Oh if only this was as easy to do as it is to say!

  18. Finally — and it only took 36 years πŸ™‚ Luv u, Mom

  19. That quote at the end of your post says it ALL. Sadly, I’m my biggest critic as well. I never believe anyone else. I only see the me my brain lets me see and it’s never quite good enough. Maybe we should all hold hands, take a deep breath and agree, we’re all pretty awesome. Thank you for this post!

  20. Ok, I do love your hair πŸ™‚ But, I love all of you, so very much! You are an amazing friend. I’ll say it again – I’m thankful everyday that fate brought us together! xoxo

  21. eatlivelaughshop

    Ah-ha! Here it is!

    We are undoubtedly our own worst critics. And it really irritates me. My children think so highly of themselves. Possibly too much at times. When and why does that amazing sense of self fade!? And why in the world don’t we listen to those most near and dear to our hearts?!?

    What I wanted to say, though, as your elder (I’m now 41) is that this self-doubt or whatever you call it does seem to fade with age (thankfully). I do think that women in their 40s seem more secure. More self-assured and just more comfortable in their own skin. My 30s were trying times so I think perspective was forced on me. Others may not have such tribulations, but I think nearly everyone by this age realizes that even those with the perfectly shiny outward appearances have some trial or trouble with which they struggle as well. We all live life and it is messy. Some clean up better than others, but quite frankly, I prefer the ones who don’t try so hard to convince us. : )

    Happy Belated birthday!!


  22. I have that same b*tch in my head, too. Why is it so hard to let it go?

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