On Tuesday, my 36th birthday, I wrote about my gift to myself. That I would learn to love me just for me. As I thought about this throughout the week, something occurred to me. A good old-fashioned Oprah “Aha!” moment.
It’s all me. I have the power to change how I feel about myself. It’s my choice.
I started thinking how, if I never left my house and only listened to my four angels that live with me, I would think I was perfect. Matt thinks I’m beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, a wonderful wife and a loving mother. The boys adore me and I know that, even if they don’t always say it. Olivia tells me at least once a day that I’m kind and I’m beautiful and that she loves me. If I only listened to them, I’d think I was pretty amazing.
So all I need to do is shut up the bitch in my head, right?
Then I extended my circle a little bit to my Mom, my sister, my close, dear friends. I know my Mom loves me, thinks I’m beautiful and is proud of me. My sister just wrote on Facebook the other day that she thinks I’m amazing. My friends love me. Me! Not my waist size, not my hair color, not the clothes I wear, me. They think I’m funny, a good listener, a great Mom and they enjoy my company. And they tell me I’m beautiful. If I only listened to them, I’d think I was pretty awesome.
How lucky am I? Pretty damn lucky to have all these people who think I am great. Me. Just me.
Clearly the only changes that need to be made are within me.
I have thoughts on why the voice inside my head is so mean. I’m not quite sure how to shut her up. But I think the first step is realizing that the power is within me.
I can make the change.