You know you’re a mother when…
Your kids or, sadly, one of your friend’s kids has snot coming out of their nose and you don’t hesitate to use your sleeve to grab it.
Same said children are finished with their bubblegum and you don’t hesitate to put it in the palm of your hand until you can find a garbage can.
Your current goal weight is your “fat” weight from college.
You’ve forgotten what your belly button looks like. Is it in there somewhere?
You’ll tell the kids it’s ok to watch a movie, play Black Ops or eat all of the candy in the house so you can have 10 minutes to: go to the bathroom, guzzle a glass of wine, read a book or have sex with your husband. Or if you’re really quick, all 4.
You’ve uttered the words “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” even though pre-kids you swore you would never do that.
You hear a crying baby and worry you’re going to start leaking. Even though you’re not breastfeeding and haven’t in 6 years.
You’ve shown up to pre-school dropoff or pick-up with giant rings of breastmilk soaking your shirt…and you don’t care.
You pee a little in your pants when you jump on a trampoline. Or cough while doing aerobics. Or laugh really hard. Or sneeze.
You can sing along to the theme songs from Barney, The Wiggles, Sesame Street, Dora, Blues Clues, The Backyardigans and Arthur.
You have driven in your minivan at least once with said music on and you didn’t notice until you were at the stoplight belting out the song and saw the person next to you staring. And the windows were down.
You can go into your minivan any day of the week and find the following: a lego minifigure, a french fry, a wrapper from fruit snacks, a banana peel and a wadded up tissue. Please don’t tell me if that’s just me.
While doing laundry, you don’t even get grossed out by the giant skid marks in your sons’ underwear.
You can’t remember the last time you had a good night’s sleep, a day to yourself, folded and put away laundry or a really romantic weekend.
You don’t care about any of these things because you know you have never, ever felt love like this before and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.
**From Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompt: You know you’re a mother when…**