What If Revisited

You will have to make the effort to break old habits and establish new ones. You will have to admit to yourself that your ‘gut feeling’ about things is askew, and unless you learn a better way, you will continue to suffer.”
— Susan Wright

A while ago I posted What If and it seemed to resonate with quite a few of you. Why are we so mean to ourselves? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we try to be perfect?What If…we all stopped?

When I wrote that post I had just about had it with myself. I was tired of feeling like a bad person just because I don’t look like a fitness model. I was tired of the constant badgering of my existence by…me. It was understandable but ridiculous. It needed to stop.

Since then I’ve really focused on being nice to myself. I know that sounds so easy and silly but that’s what I did. When I would normally look in the mirror and focus on all the things I didn’t like, I would stop, refocus and say something nice. It wasn’t easy. After years of being called a boy, of having horrid acne, of having a giant space in my front teeth, an awful haircut and lots of chub, it’s hard to change your mindset. After years and years of being called a “big girl”, it’s hard to imagine that I might, in fact, be just right. It’s working.

I have clothes in my closet that don’t fit. It makes me feel bad every time I walk in there. I think the next step will be for me to get rid of those. If I get smaller at some point, I can always buy new clothes, right? Right now I’m focusing on what I look like right now and how I feel. I feel good. I like the way I look. I’m healthy. I’m happy. I’m a great wife and mother and daughter and sister and friend. That is what matters. Not the number on the tag of my jeans. Not the number on the scale. Those things do not define me. That’s not who I am.

So What If? What if you stopped being mean to yourself? What if you stopped worrying about your size and focused on who you are on the inside instead? What if you looked in the mirror and said good things instead of bad?

What If?

Regret can be your worst enemy or your best friend. You get to decide which.”
— Martha Beck

To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to seek yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are.”

— Anne Lamott

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6 responses to “What If Revisited

  1. Thanks. Couldn’t agree more. Now just gotta do it :o) Had a great time with you yesterday. You are a great person & wonderful friend. So grateful to have you in my life!

  2. I love this…and so agree with you. Often we are mean to ourselves and it’s second nature. I am going to make this effort to be a little kinder and gentler to me..thank you for the reminder. And yes, just get rid of those clothes that make you feel bad…going shopping for new ones is always fun!

  3. And what a beautiful quote by Martha Beck to end with. I wrote it down and am posting by my computer. A reminder I needed today. So thank you!

  4. I totally agree and I have been trying to start positive affirmation for myself but I find it so hard. I commend you for being so dedicated, I really love that I can relate to what other real women are experiencing. Thanks!

  5. You are amazing. I’m glad that you are able to see it.

  6. That’s going to be a goal of mine. To look in the mirror every day and TRY and say something nice…to me. Wow this is going to be a tough one! Thanks for the inspiration

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