I’ve been struggling quite a bit lately…I’m not sure why. I just haven’t felt myself. I’ve felt really, really…sad. I think there’s been so many emotions in the last year and they are all hitting me now. I think the stress of the past few months has caught up with me. I sort of feel like I’ve lost myself. But I’m slowly climbing out of it. I’m going to take a break here soon…like a whole weekend. Alone. I can’t wait. With risk of sounding really dramatic, I just feel like I need to reconnect with my soul. Do you ever feel that way?
I’ve really been trying to focus on the here and now. I find that when I let that get away from me, I flounder. When I start thinking of the what-ifs and tomorrows and what-might-happens, it gets me down. But it’s easier said than done.
I really wanted to share some !!! moments from the past week…
Matthew saying “Do I get to wear short pants today because it’s hot out?” and “I’m going to get my pace fainted at the carnival!” and “I came in fird place!” and “Indiany Jones” and me not correcting him because it’s way too cute and soon he’ll be too big to say such things.
Olivia dancing at the Talent Show rehearsal and not freaking out because she couldn’t do the moves perfectly like she did in practice. I missed the actual dance but I heard it was great. The show is Wednesday. I can’t wait to see her. I’m going to be a puddle. Remember how badly she wanted to do it last year?
I was asking Matt if he wanted a challenger league baseball shirt from Olivia’s team. He said no, he didn’t need one, but Gabe piped up and said “Make sure to get me one! I want them to know I’m her brother and I cheer for her!” That is what life is about right there.
Olivia’s been practicing her songs for the spring show at her school. I could listen to her sing all day.
The morning bus drivers for Olivia said to me the other day “We just love watching you two together. You have that sparkle between you. Trust me, that’s not always the case. And it’s there with you two.” That made my heart really happy.
Gabe and I got to spend Saturday together. It was raining so my Mom let me drop off the other two while I took Gabe to his soccer game. Then we hit the batting cages and Subway for lunch and topped it off by watching the fourth Harry Potter movie together in the afternoon (he finished the book in 2 weeks!). I love it when we get to spend time together.
Hearing Gabe say “I hope it rains tomorrow so we have indoor recess so I can read!”
It’s all these little things that make a life. That give me true happiness. All the rest is just white noise.