Last week when I posted about Olivia’s absolute meltdown over me not understanding what she was trying to say, I was moved by everyone’s response. I sometimes take for granted how wonderful this blogging community is. I swear that night I was thinking I was going to somehow find her regular ed teacher’s phone number and call her at home to ask…that’s how desperate I was! I do have her special ed teacher’s number but try really hard not to call it after school hours. So I didn’t. They did clear it up the next day and when Olivia got home, we talked about it and she had a huge smile on her face.
But we’re still having major meltdowns. Like 3 or 4 a week.
This is really not like her unless she’s really tired or really overwhelmed. I’m thinking it’s what Tommie said; maybe she’s ready to make another huge leap milestone-wise. I’m hoping that’s all it is. I think she’s finally to the point with language that she has SO MUCH to say…but doesn’t quite have the skill to get it all out. Whereas before, she’d just want to tell me “I read a book”, now she wants to tell me details. Last week when she was upset, she was trying to tell me that her teacher was reading “Aliens for Breakfast” and there was a character named Aric and her teacher did a funny voice for him. Now that’s a lot to say! She stopped after “Today Ms. M…” and then freaked out. I did manage to get “Aric” out of her…but I thought she said “Derek” and, of course, had no clue who it was. Can’t you see her sweet little brain having all of that to say and then her mouth not being able to cooperate to get it all out? It broke my heart. I don’t know how after 10 years of dealing with this it still breaks my heart, but it does. Anything that makes her feel that bad just does me in.
Another incident was on the trampoline. She can’t jump. She wants to desperately. But between her bad knees and her low muscle tone, she just can’t quite do it. She said “I wanna jump!”. I was trying to help her by holding her hands and jumping with her, but she’s no dummy. She knew she was not jumping. So she fell to the trampoline and started kicking and pinching and screaming. I wanted to do that right along with her. Because it’s not fair that she has to struggle so hard. And it’s not fair that there are things she can’t do. But it is what it is.
Last night she had another meltdown because her friend came over for some help with math. I think it was partly because I was helping her friend and partly because she wanted to play with her. Nevertheless, the freakout ensued and I had to send her to her room to calm down. I just wish I could figure out a better way to help her cope with her strong emotions. We have tried yoga breaths but those only work when she’s semi-calm. When she’s all bat-shit crazy, there’s not much I can do.
I know it’s not cancer, and I know it could be worse, blah-blah-blah, but watching your child suffer day in and day out in any way is not fun at all. It’s absolutely heart-wrenching. I’m just hoping I can find ways for her to cope better. Or I’m hoping it’s a phase. I haven’t felt myself lately either with all of this gloomy weather. Fingers crossed that’s all it is. I thank you all for all of your kind words last week; it really does make a difference. Here’s hoping we can find a way to help my little one.