Reality Check

I feel I have a responsibility to my readers to give a dose of reality along with my positive outlook on my crazy life. Please sit back while I provide you with a few Townsend reality checks.

On Sunday morning, I was gloriously cleaning out the basement. I know you’re laughing because I used the word “gloriously” and “cleaning” in the same sentence but hear me out. I was alone. Netflix was tuned to “When Harry Met Sally” and I was organizing and cleaning. Glorious, no? The boys were outside helping Matt in the yard and Olivia was up in her room watching Tom and Jerry. I’m cleaning away and all of a sudden I hear “Mo-om!” from Olivia at the top of the basement stairs. I walk over to the stairs and see…completely naked Olivia.

“I pooped.”

“I peed all over my bed.”

Deep breath.

I go upstairs to find…a giant pile of poo on the floor and, yes, pee all over her bed. The bed I just changed. The room I just cleaned.

Deep breath.

I told her I was proud that she came and got me and told me. I also explained to her that I would really like it if next time she told me BEFORE she took off her diaper!!!

I really amazed myself with my calm because I really wanted to yell and scream. Those deep breaths can really help.

Monday Olivia came home from school asking to take a bath. I said no because she had just taken one the night before and we really weren’t going to have time. (A bath for Olivia is at least an hour-long process. At least.) So the boys were playing and she went up to her room to play and I had to go back down to the basement to finish up checking emails and such for work. I was downstairs for maybe 20 minutes. The bathroom doors upstairs were locked. Safe, right?

The next thing I know Matt is home and I can tell he’s angry. I go upstairs to the kitchen and see water coming through the ceiling fan.

Uh oh.

I go upstairs to the bathroom and see an inch of water on the floor, water all over the walls and mirror, Olivia soaked from head to toe, toothbrushes and bath toys in the toilet, toothbrush holder in pieces and one furious husband.

Looks like Olivia got her bath after all.

It’s ridiculously frustrating because she knows better but honestly can’t control her impulses.

And I have no idea how she unlocked the door.

This, my friends, is your reality check for today. I hope you enjoyed it.

Deep breath.

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14 responses to “Reality Check

  1. Those reality checks can sure be harsh! We had a few of those last weekend too…

  2. Oh Boy. Just…oh. Glass of wine, anyone?

  3. Water through the ceiling fan?! That is one heck of a reality check. I’m impressed you held it together – it takes a lot less for me to flip out.

  4. These reality checks always seem to come when we’re off guard. Life has been sailing along pretty good and then ‘Wham!’… right between the eyes.

    Deep breath…

  5. Oh dear. You handled it well though! I would have probably lost my mind.

  6. You did handle it well! I lost my temper a bit this morning when my daughter pooped in her underwear and I had to clean it up instead of pooping myself! She went through 4 pairs of underwear today in our third day of potty training 😦 REALITY CHECK: When I’m potty training, that’s really about ALL I’m doing!! It is taking me ALL day to get through my Google reader!!

  7. Thank you for sharing!! What a hectic day in your house!! I must say you handled it so well. I think I would take so many deep breathes that I would pass out from too much oxygen and then I would probably just cry after coming back to my senses. You are a great mom, wife and lady!!!

  8. Oooh, the reality of poop and impromptu baths. I so get you there. Like you, I’m typically a very positive person, but sometimes reality slaps me in the face in the version of a giant turd on my kitchen floor (which, thankfully, ISN’T carpeted) and I have to take deep, cleansing breaths even as I try not to smell reality. My Olivia will tell me when she has to poop AS THE POOP IS COMING OUT OF HER BUTT. Egads!! I grab her up and race for the toilet, hoping we make it before the inevitable plop. After that? she usually gets the bath she’d wanted all along. Sigh. This is all to say, “You are not alone.”

  9. Oh. Man.

  10. You are amazing. Have I said that before? I feel like I should say it again about 10 times! I’m pretty certain I would have hung myself on the dripping ceiling fan… You have humor and that gets you through. Cleaning, in my book, is most certainly NOT glorious. But you, my dear, are!

  11. I begin see how you’ve earned the title “elastamom”! About 30 years ago, a wise friend of mine suggested that I keep a camera handy for those “deep breath” moments, and now those are some of my best memories. Hang in there… Celia’s G’Ro.

  12. Oh Tiffany. Deep breaths help. Hang in there.

  13. O.M.G is all I have to say about that. What a little trouble maker she is. A cute one though!!!!!

  14. Hailey loves baths and I get those lovely reality checks when I tell her no as well…You did good mama :-)!! Hailey’s little trick is throwing up all over herself and then smiling her beautiful little smile…deep breath!!

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