Last week Matt happened to be watching an episode of Ellen with me. A family whose daughter had a stroke when she was an infant (and still was an infant) was being given money and a new car. Matt and I were going along with it…until they said she’d grow out of it and develop normally. Matt looked at me and said “That’s b.s.! They haven’t even been through the hard part yet…she’s still a baby!” Of course Matt has always felt this way (that people get things they don’t truly deserve) but ever since Olivia, we both feel this way quite a bit. Please don’t think we’re not sympathetic…it’s just hard to feel bad for someone who will outgrow what they have…or live a normal life in spite of it. If you think that makes us sound like ogres, it’s ok, we can take it.
Anyway, after watching this family on Ellen, Matt looked at me and said “Do you ever think ‘poor us’?” I honestly answered him no. We both laughed at the thought even. I think we had a period of about 5 minutes where we felt that way. Trust me, there are moments when I’m covered in poo or something like that where I may think “poor me” but I have a glass of wine and it goes away. (I jest…I have two.) But, truly, we do not think that about our family.
This conversation led us to another conversation where we discussed whether or not we would “take away” her syndrome if we could. I said I would for her sake, but not for mine. So she wouldn’t have to struggle so much; so she could fall in love and get married and have a life on her own. But for me? No way. Matt agreed. Because, to us, taking away her syndrome would take away HER. She wouldn’t talk the same, walk the same, laugh the same, be the same. Matt said it would be like going back to the very beginning where it felt like the girl we were going to have died; if Olivia didn’t have Cri du Chat, she wouldn’t be her. And we love HER. We adore HER. We want HER.
Don’t you love how an episode of Ellen can lead you and your husband to one of the most amazing conversations of your marriage? I do.
Poor Us? Surely you jest.
Way to go US is more like it.