Do you ever have moments where you realize your power as a mother and it totally overwhelms you?
Sometimes when I’m thinking about my childhood and my own mother (who was/is wonderful), and how much she influenced me and my decisions, it freaks me out to think that I have that much power over my kids.
For example, I can recall exact conversations had with both parents. Does that freak you out? That something you could say now when they’re 8 will still be in their head when they’re 34? I can recall both good things and bad things said and the emotions that went with them.
Is it just me?
Sometimes it can paralyze me. If Gabe’s going through something that, to him at least, is major, I feel so much pressure to say and do the “right” thing. Then I take a deep breath and realize that you can’t parent in fear. That’s the real lesson, isn’t it? That you just have to speak from your heart, go with your gut and do your best and know that your kids will remember how much you loved them more than anything else.
But it still kind of freaks me out.
I also have moments when I’m rocking out to my favorite songs while making dinner and drinking wine and feeling all young and hip…and then my almost 10-year-old comes into the kitchen and snaps me out of that fantasy. And I look around and think…. I’M THEIR MOTHER!!! I have an almost-10-year-old! That’s crazy! I’m somebody’s mother. Mother!!! It overwhelms me with the responsibility…and how old it makes me feel sometimes.
If it’s just me, don’t tell me, ok?
P.S. Send extra good thoughts to Kristen’s way…Baby Kobe comes today!!!
Elastamom's Excerpts 
I have those same thoughts. I remember thinking “Wow, I am totally responsible for the welfare of this person”. I had to stop thinking about all that pressure to do the right thing all the time. I do the best I can – most days :o)! I can’t believe I have a 13 year old. Me. A parent of a teenager! She asked me last night if anyone ever offerred me drugs in high school. Now that is a conversation I will never forget. I don’t know if I feel prepared for this stage of parenting, but I am in it! Wish me luck!
When I was 9, my dad told me that if I sucked my belly in long enough, it would stay that way. I believed him until I was 13.
“You can’t parent in fear.” True that.
It’s definitely not just you. Honestly, I used to wonder if I felt this way because I was ‘older’ when I had kids. I was 32 when I had Alyssa and so I thought, maybe because I’d only been responsible for myself so long, this new responsibility felt so much bigger to me than it does to other, younger mothers. But probably not. Being the mom is a big deal. It feels so heavy and overwhelming. Yet, there are so many great things about being the mom that make the weight bearable.
But yeah, you’re not alone in be astonished at being The Mom.
I am not a mother yet, but I am a teacher. And, although it’s not the same, I do sometimes think, I can’t believe I am this kid’s 5th grade teacher. Everything this kid is supposed to know for next year is up to me! And it makes me panic sometimes.
And it’s even scarier when you didn’t have a great mom/role model. No, it’s not just you. I worry all the time.
It really can be overwhelming when you feel like every question or concern could be a potential life lesson. Whenever I have to answer one of my kids questions or deal with an issue, I always worry about the overall lesson they will take away with them for the rest of their lives! I joke that not only do we need to have a college fund set up, but a therapy fund as well!
You’re not alone! I’ve made decisions regarding the lives of little people – in more ways than I ever thought I would. I worry that I’m not doing enough. But, I know in my heart, that I am doing what I am capable of. That is what my children need from me right now. You’re a fantastic, super cool mom and your kiddos are fortunate to have you!
I had this exact same conversations with Gian today. I am right there with you, and my baby is only 3 months ahhahahahhahaha. You and your husband will be the greatest example your children will ever have a they will one day look back and think “they are amazing” just like you do with your mom! It sure is a scary thought huh, but it is totally natural. I think it shows how good of a job you are doing, because you have a desire to be great.
It is overwhelming to think YOU are responsible. Completely and totally. I always think about what my daughter will remember about me and which words of mine she will carry with her.
I have these moments all of the time! The difference with me is that I don’t have a lot of good memories about my childhood or parents and want to change that for my daughter so badly. I always wonder what parts that I say and do will affect her. Sometimes it is a really hard thing. But like you said, I think that if you love them and show them, they remember that mostly!
This whole “mom” gig still feels sureal. My girl, my first turns 4 tomorrow. 2 kids, 4 years and I still can’t wrap my head around it. And the idea that I’m such an influencing factor is scary! I just hope I don’t screw them up too much. 🙂