Do you ever have moments where you realize your power as a mother and it totally overwhelms you?
Sometimes when I’m thinking about my childhood and my own mother (who was/is wonderful), and how much she influenced me and my decisions, it freaks me out to think that I have that much power over my kids.
For example, I can recall exact conversations had with both parents. Does that freak you out? That something you could say now when they’re 8 will still be in their head when they’re 34? I can recall both good things and bad things said and the emotions that went with them.
Is it just me?
Sometimes it can paralyze me. If Gabe’s going through something that, to him at least, is major, I feel so much pressure to say and do the “right” thing. Then I take a deep breath and realize that you can’t parent in fear. That’s the real lesson, isn’t it? That you just have to speak from your heart, go with your gut and do your best and know that your kids will remember how much you loved them more than anything else.
But it still kind of freaks me out.
I also have moments when I’m rocking out to my favorite songs while making dinner and drinking wine and feeling all young and hip…and then my almost 10-year-old comes into the kitchen and snaps me out of that fantasy. And I look around and think…. I’M THEIR MOTHER!!! I have an almost-10-year-old! That’s crazy! I’m somebody’s mother. Mother!!! It overwhelms me with the responsibility…and how old it makes me feel sometimes.
If it’s just me, don’t tell me, ok?
P.S. Send extra good thoughts to Kristen’s way…Baby Kobe comes today!!!