Two major things have happened in the last week that left me thinking…I guess I’m over it. And by “it” I mean Olivia’s diagnosis.
I’m over it.
That feels great to say. Kind of like feeling good about myself. It’s like I’m slipping into this new skin that’s been waiting for me all along…and I like it.
When I had my mani/pedi on Friday, I was chatting with the technician and I said that my daughter had special needs. She said “Oh, like ADD or something?” I went on to give her the “quick and dirty” version of Olivia’s diagnosis. She looked at me with a horrified look and said “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. How horrible!” In that moment, I knew I was over it. Because I just looked at her and said “No, it’s really not. She’s doing great and she’s a joy.” She looked at me like I was crazy. I just sat there with a big smile on my face.
I’m over it.
We were invited to a friend’s house for dinner on Saturday night with some other neighborhood friends. There were many kids running around and Olivia decided to pick on the sweet and cute little four-year-old girl. She pulled her hair. She dumped milk on her head. She said “Shut up!” She pinched, she bit, she hit. We disciplined her and intervened, but I didn’t get upset. Usually I’d be so frustrated and embarrassed that I would just want to leave. But not this time. I just handled it and moved on. Because this is my life. This IS who she is. This is what she does. This is how she handles overwhelmingly exciting situations. And other people either have to deal with and be ok with it…or not invite us over, right? The other Moms and Dads were great about it. The kids handled it (although the little girl didn’t leave her Mom’s lap after the milk incident…) so why shouldn’t I just be ok with it too? So I am.
Like I said, I guess I’m over it.
Good for you! I am still hoping you will “visit” a 6 am class soon!
as you should be. you don’t seem to let olivia’s cri du chat define her, so you shouldn’t let it define you either. you go, girl 🙂
I had the same experience with a hairdresser! She was so “sorry” for me and my daughter and as soon as I heard that, a total paradigm shift happened! I then tried to explain the beauty of Gracie but she just didn’t get it and couldn’t get over the label. In that moment I realized that I don’t want people to feel sorry for her, but that I want them to see the beauty and wonder in her so I need to be careful about how I present her to the world.
Glad you are feeling good and that things went well with your friends!!
Beautiful picture of a beautiful girl with a beautiful mom who owns a beautiful heart. That’s a lot of beauty for Tuesday.
You make me smile Tiffany…you and your heart.
That is my favorite picture of her. She really is growing into a beautiful little woman!
What a lovely pic! I love that you accept and embrace. That’s more than just heart, it is soul.
I feel like I was ‘over’ my O’s diagnosis before we even got it. I had to fight so hard to even get her diagnosed and when we finally got it when she was over two years old, I felt like I could say, “Yeah, she’s got 5p-, so what? She’s amazing and she’s going to change the world, even if just her own small part of it.”
I’m so glad for you, though, that you’re over it. You’re amazing and you’re raising some amazing kids.
YOU are the exact reason why SHE doesn’t let her “disability” define her either! I can tell everyone who doesn’t have the pleasure of knowing Miss O that I have never ever seen her take any notice to the fact that she may in fact be a little different than those around her. To those of us who know and love her, she definitely is no different than any other child we see. She absolutely loves who she is and she has an amazing super-woman mommy to thank for that! Just the other day, she announced in my classroom “Everybody loves me!” Then the next statement….. “Everybody loves my mom, too!” SOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!
If I can share a story with you, I was diagnosed with a sever learning disability when I was 3 the dr’s told my mom I would never hold a job, learn to read or write. She was shocked and devastated. When teachers would talk to her about my disability my mom would say “she is not disabled, she just learns in a different way”. I always felt safe and accepted in my family. Much like you, my mom was not ashamed or embarrassed. But I was, I didn’t know how to not judge myself and I had to learn the knowledge that my mom already knew, by her example. I didn’t get it until I was 20 and could own my learning disability. So as a child to a mother I can confidently say you are doing it beyond perfect!
You allow Olivia to be exactly who she is and that is one of the greatest things you can do as a parent! I think we all look for acceptance from one another, and especially from our own family. Olivia can look at you and other family members and feel safe. I really believe that babies and kids can move mountains, and I think Olivia is a great example of how these little spirits do it! Olivia is just so precious and you can see that heart of gold from miles away! You are doing a great job!
I am glad that you were able to correct the lady doing your nails. Sometimes people don’t understand, so it is good to express to them how wonderful Olivia is regardless of what the worlds standards of exultance is. Thank you for sharing this post. And I loooooove that picture of Olivia! What a beautiful little girl!
I love the new you! Not that I was dissappointed with the last one but I feel like you are content with yourself! YEAH Tif!!!
I can relate to this statement. I find myself repeating my son’s diagnosis now without batting an eye (it wasn’t the case for a long time). Most people don’t know how to react at first, but when I explain what a joy he is, etc. etc… they are relieved for me, in a way. It’s really interesting.
I like McKinely’s comment above about how we all look for acceptance mainly from our family members. That’s so true and it made me realize that everything I say about and around my little one is so important. Even though he doesn’t speak yet, he must also be looking to be accepted and loved by his mom and dad. Now, I wonder if every time I cry around him, if he’s thinking that HE is making me sad. This was an eye-opening statement.
It’s funny. They accept themselves for who they are (all of our kids). Why can’t we?!?! Way to go Tiff on letting something else go!
Wow. Just wow.
Wow, I hope to be here soon as well. I know I am well on my way. I also find myself describing her syndrome like it’s nothing and when I get these horrified looks I find myself wondering why are they so shocked it’s not that bad. I may have a long road ahead of me but I know I’m on the right track.
I have yet to describe cri du chat to anyone but close family and friends. For everyone else it has just been “a rare genetic disorder”. I guess I have been afraid of people judging her and/or pitying me. As she gets older, I’m sure I’ll have more questions and I hope that I can speak up for Helena like you do for Olivia.