Almost Lost

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After the stay in the PICU, Sweet Pea did not get much better. He was still on breathing treatments around the clock. He was off and on steroids for weeks and weeks. There were constant doctor’s visits. She felt like She lived at the pediatrician’s office.

She was exhausted. And worried. And scared.

Sweet Pea also had clogged tear ducts. Like majorly clogged. As in has to have surgery clogged.

But he still wasn’t better so They had to wait.

When Sweet Pea was about 6 months old, they scheduled the surgery. She was assured that it would be less than 10 minutes, that it was no big deal. But the baby would be under anesthesia and that made Her a nervous wreck. Especially with a baby who doesn’t breathe very well.

Three days before the surgery, Sweet Pea was still on breathing treatments and on steroids. It was a Monday and they spent most of the day nursing and playing and cuddling. Even when he was sick, he was still a very happy baby. Pretty soon it was time for him to have his bath before he went to bed for the night. She was tickling him on the bed and enjoying those belly-giggles that only a 6-month-old can give. She got him undressed and put him in the warm water, all ready to give him his bath and clean up those rolls and rolls of adorable baby fat.

She had just put him in the tub and was just chatting away with him while the water was running when he went stiff as a board, fell over in the tub and started seizing.

She yelled for Matt and picked Sweet Pea up as fast as She could to get him out of the water.

He stopped seizing and wasn’t breathing. He was bluish gray.

She continued to scream for Matt to call 9-1-1 and ran downstairs. By the time She got downstairs, Matt had 9-1-1 on the phone and they were on their way.

Sweet Pea still wasn’t breathing. His eyes were closed. It felt like it had been hours when in all reality it had only been mere seconds. She laid him down on the couch and started CPR. He was so blue. She was certain he was dead.

Mere minutes later, the ambulance could be heard screaming down their street. She picked up Sweet Pea and ran as fast as She could to meet them. The EMS guy looked at Sweet Pea and said “Oh God.”

Sweet Pea started to breathe and opened his eyes. His breathing was shallow and his eyes continued to open and close. He seemed to be going in and out of consciousness. Before she could blink, they were on their way to the hospital. Sweet Pea continued to open his eyes momentarily. His breathing remained shallow.

They arrived at the hospital and Sweet Pea started to “perk” up. His eyes stayed open, he was crying and was reaching for Her. She was so relieved there weren’t even words to describe how relieved. A neighbor (and close friend) had seen the ambulance and ran over. She stayed with Baby Girl and Little Man so He could follow the ambulance to the hospital. When He arrived, She collapsed into His arms. They were going to do many tests on Sweet Pea to see what had happened.

Hours and hours later, there was no conclusion. They had no idea why that had happened at all. She was convinced it was the fact that he had been so sick for so long and on so much medication. The doctors didn’t think that was it. They could give Them no reason why this had happened.

And sent them home.

She was scared beyond belief to go home. Five hours earlier, She thought Her baby was dead. And now they were sending them home? She couldn’t believe it. She was scared to death he was going to stop breathing again.

So they went home, thankful that their beautiful, precious Sweet Pea was ok.


10 responses to “Almost Lost

  1. OMG! I can’t believe you went through this! I have chills.

  2. Good Lord, that was hard to read. Tiff, you’ve been through the wringer!

  3. When I saw your tweet about this post I thought you meant you almost lost him, like he got lost in a store or something… wonder this post was difficult to write – it was difficult to read.

    Thank God he was okay.

  4. Wow, this was difficult to read. Plus, it took me back to my own experience when Chuckles had a febrile seizure at 18 mos. Definitely not something I’d wish upon any mother or child.

  5. That was difficult to read. I felt my own heart changing beat in a panic with your words. Wow. It’s a horrible nightmare to live watching your child turn blue and be lifeless. It’s a feeling and memory I have not been able to shake off since Cayman coded last May. Many years later from that time in Matty’s life and you can still vividly remember it. The memory of such a time certain breathes fresh appreciation for each day with our kids.

  6. I read this post on Friday and couldn’t bring myself to comment – and I know how it all turns out! I can’t imagine going through this let alone writing about it. Keegan had “difficulty” breathing last November and I stayed awake much of the night to make sure he kept breathing. He never stopped breathing and I was still scared. This post terrified me. I’m so glad for all of you that everything turned out ok. I’m still feeling the need to send hugs though!

  7. Tiffany,
    You are killing me. How have you survived all this? Woman, you are a superhero!!!

  8. Okay, this panicked me reading this so I can only imagine how you must have felt…

  9. I say ‘Boo-hoo’ to seizures. Unfortunately they are a daily occurance around here. Whenever Elisabeth goes into one I start whispering to her ‘come back to me, come back to me.’ And (luckily) so far she always comes out of them.

    But I agree with everyone else….this was a little nerve racking to read….a little too close to home.

  10. Cindy Jackson

    Wow, you are amazing…you have been through so much. I think I was holding my breath as I read this one, literally.

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