Before I Was Your Mother…Part II

See yesterday’s post for Part I!

Before I was your mother, I thought I was fat. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, I was convinced that people who had “Mom” bodies got that way because they didn’t try hard enough. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, I had new clothes every season and they stayed nice and clean. I could have worn the same jeans three days in a row without getting anything on them. HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, the inside of my car contained no crumbs, no dirty diapers, no empty cups from McDonald’s, no french fries under the seats and no crumpled up paper. HA HA HA HA HA!!

Before I was your mother, I could form a thought in my head and had a memory that was like a steel trap. I could have beaten you at Memory back then. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, your Dad and I used to do tons of things together, just the two of us. We would spend hours and hours just hanging out, talking, being together. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, Amma would come to see me and get a big smile on her face at the thought of seeing me. Now, I’m chopped liver and second tuna to….you three. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, I was convinced my stomach would retain it’s youthful shape and gorgeousness because of “muscle memory”. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, I could jump on a trampoline without peeing my pants. Seriously, I could. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Before I was your mother, I thought I knew everything. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

That laughing you hear? It’s me, laughing at my stupid, childless self. Come on, join me.

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7 responses to “Before I Was Your Mother…Part II

  1. Oh my gosh, this post truly made me laugh out loud!!! I can relate to every single one!!!

  2. Ah, yes – compared to my kids, I’m the low man on the todem pole when it comes to Grandma.

  3. Soooo funny and soooo true!

  4. OMG – so true! Love your posts!

  5. Very true and very funny. Thanks for giving me a laugh!

  6. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! True dat.

  7. Man I knew I could count on you for the laugh I needed today! What a beautiful look at the selfish people we used to be: ) Man I LOVE being a mommy!

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