Go Back

On days like today, my mind wanders and I think about how I’d like to go back. Just for a day.

Back to a time when I’d never heard of Cri du Chat.

Back to a time when my biggest worry was gaining 5 lbs.

Back to a time when Matt and I could spend a whole uninterrupted evening together.

Back to a time when I could think straight for 5 seconds.

Back to when I had a brain that worked properly and wasn’t filled with too many worries.

Back to when I didn’t know what Mommy guilt was.

Back to when I didn’t feel like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

Back to a time when Olivia was in my womb and all I did was dream about seeing her for the first time.

Just for a day. Just for an hour. I’d like to go back.

In the meantime, I’ll try and enjoy today. And share my new favorite song with you and sing it at the top of my lungs and…love like crazy.

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12 responses to “Go Back

  1. I often wander back to days like this but then I look at where I am and realize I wouldn’t change a thing.

  2. I can feel your pain in this post and I believe CK’s comment summed up exactly how I feel.

  3. Tiffany, I feel this way at times, too, and I don’t deal with anything near what your daily life entails. It’s OK to feel this way!! We are human! Everyone knows how much you love all of your kids but sometimes we need a break. Can you go out to dinner with just you and Matt? Might do a world of good…

  4. Sweet Tiff. It’s hard to always be the bearer of the weight. ((you)) Wish I lived next door to give you hugs and Twizzlers.

  5. {{{hugs}}}

  6. Wouldn’t that be nice. I think I would get bored after about a day though!

  7. I am hearing you struggling to find peace in your heart. That is such a difficult place to get to, but I pray for you, and all of us here, that we do find that one day. So, rather than going back, we can be where we are … just be right where we are… peacefully. xoxoxox

  8. These beautiful children touch our hearts and pull them out of our chests all at the same time. My Olivia still sleeps with me and I’m so very, very lucky to be able to hold her close at night and kiss her head with the short, short hair and be grateful that she’s here at all. I, too, sometimes think back to the days before she was born, when she was all mine, went with me everywhere and I had no worries for her except whether or not those onion rings I’d had would give her the hiccups. Hugs from one 5p- mom to another.

  9. I’m with TKW. If we all lived next door, we could go out for margaritas and be silly until you felt a little less pressure. We all need a release some time. And you have a lot of weight on those shoulders. Please be sure to unload it on those who can help you. {{Hugs}}

  10. Everybody has said what I was already thinking… I’m sending you hugs sweetie. Too bad there’s no virtual margarita joint for all of us to hang out at. Perhaps you and I will have to get a real one sometime – you know, in our free time;) love ya…

  11. Hugs to you Tiffany. I hear the weight in your post. I think we all reach those moments in our lives where we yearn for the past, where the knowledge of the future hasn’t unfolded yet.

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