A Big Bummer

In May, Olivia had a well-check and they did the traditional scoliosis check. The pediatrician thought her spine looked a little off and ordered an x-ray. It came back as 10 degrees off normal which is not very abnormal at all. They said to schedule an appointment with her orthopedic surgeon for a follow-up. The ortho said he didn’t want to see her for 3 months.

I wasn’t worried because it was only 10 degrees.

We went to the appointment last Thursday. They took another x-ray to see if there was a difference since June. Olivia did relatively well holding still for the x-ray and they got a good shot of her spine. They brought it back to the room and the doctor put it up on the screen.

I gasped.

Even me, with my untrained non-doctor eye, could see that there was a major change. Her spine looked like a C. It was now a 40 degree curve. The doctor informed us that a fast-rate scoliosis is 1 degree per month and hers was 10 degrees per month. Big time change. I didn’t even worry about this because the degree was so small in June. I took it off my radar.

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

Now, I know it could be worse. Please know I KNOW THAT. But still. This is my baby girl who has so much working against her already…and now this. I had a moment, ok day, of pity for my little girl. Would a mental disability be enough? Or weak muscle tone? Now we have to add scoliosis??

The next step is an MRI because they have to rule out things like…brain tumors. And guess what? Olivia can’t hold still for even one minute so she will have to be put under for it. That, folks, scares the crap out of me. Can you imagine how scared she’ll be? For those few minutes that they take her away from me and put her under? And when she comes to after?

Once they rule out anything surgical, then we move on to a collarbone to hip brace that she has to wear ONLY 12 hours a day. I am not sure what to pray for—surgery on her brain or spine or the brace she has to wear for 12 hours a day until she stops growing.

All I know is that, even though I know it could be worse, I would just like for my baby girl to get the break she so deserves.

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22 responses to “A Big Bummer

  1. Oh Tiffany… Wish I could give you one of those hugs right now. Olivia does NOT need to go through this as well. And now an MRI… Eli had to be put under for his tonsils and adenoids surgery. I was a wreck until I was holding him in my arms. That 90 minutes that he was away from us nearly killed me. You always put the “what ifs” at the forefront of your mind – even though you KNOW you shouldn’t. Please know that I’m thinking about all of you and hoping for the very best for Olivia. Let us know if there’s ANYTHING that we can do.

  2. tiffany….miss olivia will be in my prayers and so will your entire family. may God give you the peace, strength, and comfort you will need through whatever she will be facing with this.

  3. A bummer for sure! A magic wand would sure come in handy about now. Hang in there…we’re behind you!

  4. Lots of prayers for you as well coming from me.

  5. Oh my gosh. I am crying with you because this is so hard. And those people who tell you it could be worse can go to…the underworld. Really?? This is a freaking tough thing to deal, especially when it is your precious little girl.

    I am so sorry. So so sorry. Lots of prayers (one right now) coming your way.

  6. Oh I am so sorry you all have to go through this. It sucks. Lots of hugs and love coming your way xx

  7. Oh Tiffany, I’m sorry. That really truly sucks. Yes, you are right, it could be worse, BUT, that does not have to lessen the fact that THIS is happening, and it’s happening to your baby girl. Hugs to you my friend.

  8. Oh, Tiffany… You so need a {{hug}} right now. I also wish Olivia would get a break. She deserves it. So do you. It’s so hard to be a mother and carry the burden of worry. Constant worry. Everything will be ok. Don’t lose your faith. It’s what keeps us afloat.

  9. Tiffany, I am so sorry that this is happening to Olivia. What a shock that was for her spine to curve that much!
    The scoliosis issue is a hard one for me to deal with. It is just not fair, one more thing on top of all the other things.
    Just know that my thoughts are with you and I will be praying for her MRI to go smoothly.
    P.S. For Gracie’s MRI, we were able to stay with her until she was put to sleep. They may give Olivia a medicine that can make her relax during the wait before the procedure. Maybe talk to the MRI Clinic and find out the procedures and all of your options. That way you can make a plan and not have to worry about it.

  10. We’ll be praying that the MRI goes smoothly. That is so scary thinking that she will be put under for a few minutes and be so confused…. poor Olivia. Hang in there mama- things will get better for her and you. Big hugs!

  11. Oh Tiffany…I’m so sorry.

    I’ll be praying for her peace and comfort during her MRI.

  12. Oh, Tiffany! Me, too. We have similar things going on… oral surgery coming up and scoliosis re-eval in Oct. I really wanted to be done with all the bad news surprises! One weird thing, tho with the X-rays, their posture at that moment can affect how “bad” it looks… Janine had a 21 deg. X-ray, but the next one seemed to go down to 13… and the next one after that was back up to 19. They blamed the hypotonia. We’ll be with you in prayer!

  13. Tiffany, I am thinking of you. If it’s any consolation, I have to go in for a brain MRI every 3 months, and the whole thing is so loud and tedious and uncomfortable that it’s a blessing for Olivia to not experience it. Anesthesia is always a frightening prospect, but at least she will be spared the blasting noise and oppressive claustrophobia of the “big sardine can.”

    Please keep us posted, okay?

  14. A bummer? Shoot! That’s so much more than “a bummer”. I kick in the gut… that’s for sure! I wish I had some consoling words for you. I think everyone who reads your blog completely understands your worries and frustration at everything Olivia and your family need to deal with all the time. I can only keep you in my prayers. I hope your heart finds peace as you go through this. We are all there with you.

  15. Anything like this that comes to our kids, our babies is scary. I am so sorry for her that she has to deal with yet another thing. You will all get through it cause you are strong and have a huge support network. *HUGS*

  16. Tiffany,

    I am thinking of you, your family and sweet Olivia. Sending positive vibes your way and of course lots of hugs. xoxo

  17. Poor Olivia! I’m sorry she has yet another challenge in front of her. Stay strong mama. {hugs}

  18. I’m so sorry, Tiffany. Thank goodness Olivia has you and Matt to help her through this.

  19. I’m so sorry…Know that your family, especially Olivia are in my prayers.

  20. Oh, Tiffany, I’m so sorry. That really sucks. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. Poonch had to be put under when she got her tonsils out and it is scary. But the docs and nurses were great and made it as easy as possible for her (and me!). Keep us updated…

  21. Tiffany, I am so sorry. I am praying for the best possible outcome. Bella has surgery on Monday for her tonsils. Her being put under in April was hard. I dread doing it again. Let me know if I can do anything!

  22. Pingback: Olivia’s Turtle Shell | Elastamom's Excerpts

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