I like to think I’m honest on here…and real…and positive. But if you ever thought I was fake and unrealistic, I would be so disappointed.
Where is this coming from you might ask?
A blogging friend of mine and I have been talking about a certain blog that kind of, well, hmmm…makes us want to puke. I don’t want to sound snarky…but it’s the truth. It’s written by a Mom whose daughter was born about 6 months ago and was diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome. (If you like this blog, I sincerely apologize and just know it’s a difference of taste.) It’s just too sweet and perfect and the world is always roses and, like I said, when I read it, I want to barf.
So that got me thinking that if I had read that blog right after I had Olivia…or Gabe…or Matthew…that I would have felt like a complete failure. Because I wasn’t at a good point in my motherlife at any of those times. I would have read that blog and said “Well, shit, I don’t wear a retro swimsuit and go to an island all day with my friends in bikinis and their babies and go get pedicures and have time to make awesome graphic design scrapbooks so I may as well just pack up this horse and pony show and be done with motherhood because clearly I suck”. I would have. But now, with some perspective, I shake my head and laugh because I know that’s not my life. Kudos to her if her days really are that magical and special all the time. Mine aren’t.
All this to say, even though I try to have a positive attitude and a great outlook on my life, I hope I don’t make you want to barf. If you see me make hill-billy teeth for a snack and feel like crap because your kids had crackers, please don’t. It’s only on special occasions. Truly. I hope those of you with little ones remember that Olivia is almost 10. I’ve been at this whole special-need-business a while. If you had talked to me when she was 3, 4, 5 or even 6, you wouldn’t have found this same person. To me, it’s a process. And I still have bad days. And I like to think I share them with you.
Just in case you think life is always sunny and positive over here in Elastamom world, I’d like to share 5 not-so-sunny moments of my last week:
1.) Feeling so happy that Matthew’s new pre-school doesn’t have “programs” for holidays and such during the school time because that means I can actually have my 2 hours of peace to get work done
2.) Thinking that I’d much rather spend the day in bed than having to deal with any of my children
3.) Being secretly so glad that Gabe decided not to play travel soccer because it’s less time we have to spend at…well, soccer
4.) Putting up a birthday banner and some balloons for Matthew’s family party and calling it a day…I tossed the streamers in the closet for another party
5.) All 3 of my kids have a TV in their room and I like it. I just got an hour of work done while they watched TV. There was no fighting, no yelling, no messes, just peace. Me love TV.
I know the blogging world is not perfect and there are blogs that get tons of comments that are about nothing but drivel and may make you want to barf. But I hope here at Elastamom you comment and read and come back every day because you know I keep it real.
I think you are an incredibly optimistic person at heart. But, you do share some of the downs as well. Not to worry. We appreciate hearing about them and knowing that you are human. It helps us rejoice in the triumphs more if we can also wallow in the sorrows.
I know which blog you are talking about, and it makes me want to barf too. Too much sunshine and roses, picnics and fairies. I still check it out, but don’t read it anymore, just look at pictures. It annoys me that she is just like the rest of us with kids with special needs yet she’s been put on a pedestal and been on CNN, in parent magazine, interviews etc. Not that I would necessarily want to do that.
Anyways, I prefer the “regular” blogs, just like yours that are everyday real life.
Oh, and also, I wanted to tell you that I met a mom last week who has a daughter with CDC. I was so excited when she told me and I said “OMG, I ‘know’ someone who has a daughter with CDC”. She came to our mom’s group for kids with DS. Her daughter is the only one known of with CDC in this area or anywhere near so she has no support group. Since the challenges are very similar to DS she joined our little Mom’s group. I didn’t meet her daughter, but I hope to soon!
i’ve always enjoyed your blog for your honesty and you optimism! you DO keep it real 🙂 i sure am not interested in blogs that make me feel like i’m failing…..i enjoy reading those that let me know that i am NOT alone in my parental imperfections. sure, i like being inspired to be a better mom…..but i like reading about someone’s REAL life. “your kid colored all over your walls with permanent marker because you were lazy and left them out too?? yay! you took the easy way out and turned on some mind-numbing cartoon so that you could actually FIND your kitchen counters without having three children attached to your legs?? me too!!”
so good for you for bringing it to us on the reals 🙂
I love your blog because you always are keeping it real and that’s what real moms want to hear 🙂 The best thing about your blog is that you ARE a SUPERMOM but you also keep it real since everyone knows that we all make mistakes, we all yell, we all get mad at our kids, our kids aren’t always behaving good, etc.
I *think* I might know the blog you are talking about. I get the same feeling reading it and looking at all the pictures. Is life really that easy?!?
I swear to you – I went out and bought apples/peanut butter/marshmallows just so I could make hillbilly teeth for a snack. All of that shit is still sitting in my cupboard and I have yet to actually do it.
Call me crazy but I agree with the TV in the room thing. Obviously with rules but I’m okay with it.
I too love your blog and you definitely keep it real. I know that after I read it, I think, “I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels that way sometimes.” Thanks for keeping it REAL.
You totally DONT ever make me wanna barf. And me likey tv too!
Having a special needs son, I appreciate your stories because they are ‘real,’ you don’t sugar coat anything and it makes me feel less like I’m going thru this alone.
I don’t know which blogger you referred to, but if her daughter is only six months old, I have to think she’s not really had to deal with many big kid issues yet. Unicorns and rainbows won’t last long.
I love Reading your blog too. I think you keep it real and your honesty really tugs on my heart strings.
I do like Reading the other blog too, I like the way she writes, but I think there is an awful lot unsaid. I never comment though 😉 I prefer real people who love getting comments as much as I do and who are likely to notice my comments. What’s the point when there are 400 others.
The thing that gets me about it though is that it seems people want to copy her style, use her breathless way of writing instead of their own blog voice.
That makes me want to barf!! Lol xx
Trust me, I wouldn’t be reading you if you made me barf!! What I love about your blog is that even on the worst of days, you try to find the good. That is what we should all aspire to, not perfection.
Tiffany, you are SO not that blow-sunshine-up-everyone’s-ass person. You DO have a positive attitude most of the time, but you do not hesitate to also let us know how difficult and heartbreaking this job of parenting can be (especially where Olivia is concerned). You are wonderful at achieving that balance.
This post is exactly what everyone that reads your blog loves about you. It is so ‘real’. Love it.
By the way….now you have me curious about this other blog. Do we get a link or something? Pretty please?
I agree with this!! The perfect blogs make me want to puke too. I would rather read the blogs that are open, honest, and full of love, like yours.
I love imperfection. It keeps us real and honest and true. I believe you do all those things with your blog.
You inspired me to start writing a blog…I loved the feeling that someone out there “gets” how crazy this life can be. Yes, there are definitely ups, some rainbows, some perfect moments but there are also crazy “really, I’m never going to make it to bed time” days.
Oh how I love your honesty! I so wish we could sit in your snazy backyard sipping wine and being a bit caddy 🙂 I guess for now I’ll just be thankful I can share via email. I have found several blogs that I read from the comments on your blog. I know if they are reading you daily and have similar thoughts by the comments they leave. Thanks for prescreening the non puke enducing blogs for me.
I have read that blog. Everytime I do read it I think if only… If only I had a bunch of money and never had to work and lived near a beach and had a pool in my backyard and wore a size 2 and, and, and… I hate to rain on anyone’s parade and I certainly don’t enjoy putting limitations on children with special needs. But… I want to reach through the computer and tell this mom that she needs to prepare herself for what her daughter has ahead of her. I’m so very happy that her group of people accept her daughter for who she is but it may not always be that way. It’s amazing that you never read about the amount of therapy her daughter has and will continue to have. I don’t think she allows things to get that real.
I like to use that blog as my fantasy getaway – when I’m having those I don’t want to deal with my kids moments! It’s like getting caught up in a trashy novel 😉
You, my dear, are far from fake. You keep it real over here and you don’t really give a shit what people think of you. I’ve always loved you for that! You love your kids and you talk about how you could eat them when they make you crazy. That’s not a trashy novel, that’s real life. That’s what the rest of us can relate to!
Ha ha ha!!! I, of course, know what blog you are talking about!!! Initially I enjoyed that blog for the photography but now it just makes me want to barf. I mean SERIOUSLY. Ugh. I love your blog. I have loved the Flashback series, particularly when Olivia was born and you found out her diagnosis….. your feelings were so very similar to mine. Anyhow, nothing fake about your blog and thats why I love it!!!
This is top notch, Tiff. As per usual.
The superfluity of KH is nauseating.
You definitley keep it real here. Sometimes I think you are too hard on yourself! You do such a great job at keeping it together when most of us would have thrown in the cards. I have 1 kid and want to slit my wrists most days. I love your blog! You rock!
I think LeeAnn is right – there is an awful lot unsaid, maybe even unacknowledged. I appreciate finding the beauty in the small things, as she says, but I guess I find the REAL so much more inspiring! I hope that as time goes on, she can incorporate more of the “struggle” into her story. Then the beauty will be even more apparent.
This is the first time I’ve commented on your blog. I just found you yesterday. I do know the blog you’re talking about. So far, I’ve actually enjoyed her writing. Like a few other commenters pointed out, her baby is still very young. And she seems to be on the high-functioning side. I think maybe, she just shares the good stuff because…well, sometimes we want to bury the bad and bask in the good.
But I get why the sweetness of it all can be puke-inducing. I get that. My daughter, also Olivia, will be four in November and was diagnosed with 5p- when she was just over two years old. So while I’m not an ‘old hand’ at this special needs stuff, I’ve been in the trenches than the blogger you’re referencing. And I know there’s a lot of stress along with the joy.
Keep keeping it real. 🙂
What’s great about your blog is there is humor mixed in there with the reality of everything. So, on those bad days, you always manage to make me laugh… partly because I can relate, and partly because you use expressions like “I may as well just pack up this horse and pony show and be done”! Cracked me up! (We Canadians ain’t got so many funny one-liners!)
Thank you for reminding us that the sun does not have to shine every day! We do live great lives but happiness faults us periodically!!!
You are soooo… real Elastamom!!! I love that I can read your blog and have a more realistic view of the hard times that I will have in the future…but you are also very inspiring…you do A LOT for you kids…I truly want to be like you when I grow up!!!! I agree…I would feel terrible if I read something so positive and happy all the time when being thrown into the most scary situation anyone can really imagine, if they have never been around it that is. I have NEVER been around “special needs” neither has my family, really. But we are getting by, and every day does get better…but I have cursed God…which is terrible…and I ask for forgiveness, and I know God is just up there saying, “I forgive you child, but I know you will curse me again”!!! Anyways …your great…and very real!!! Thank you for being real Elastamom!!!