Today’s a wonderful day. The kids are back to school. I’m so happy to have my one-on-one time with Matthew back and to have some regular peace and quiet while I work. But I’m also sad that summer’s over and very apprehensive about new teachers and new classes. I have confidence in my children’s school but I still get anxious. Will the teacher love my child? Will they make sure they do their best? Will the kids be nice? Will they still love school at the end of the day?
I’m sharing this with you once again because I think it sums up what I’m feeling perfectly. Fingers crossed for a wonderful year.
The Transfer of a Trust by Susan Wojciechowski
The syndrome hits me every year right after Labor Day. It’s always the same. At 9:34 a.m. the school bus wheezes to a stop at the end of my driveway. My child waves an uncertain goodbye and climbs aboard. The door shooshes shut and the bus rumbles slowly out of sight.
I go onto the back porch for another cup of tea, a peaceful cup at last. I spread the paper open in front of me and start to cry. I snap the paper to attention and pretend to read Sidney Harris. My tears blur the words into a muddy jumble. This is nonsense. I should be glad school is back in session. No more sticky kitchen floor, no more sliding door left open, no more trail of Kool-Aid across the rug. It’s no use. I want to jump in the car and follow bus 158 to school. I want to peek around the corner of the building to make sure my baby has found the right classroom, has not gotten knocked over by bullies, has remembered to carry her lunch box off the bus.
But more than that, I want to glimpse into her classroom. I have no need to check the bulletin boards or the lesson plans. I want to look into the teacher’s soul. I want to find some hint of assurance that she is worthy to continue what I have these past few years begun. For, when each of my children turned 5, they were suddenly snatched from me. I had, up till then, been the overwhelming influence on their development. Their values were my values; their world was shaped by what I wanted them to see, hear, experience. All at once a teacher, a stranger, was taking my place.
And so I cry on the first day of school. I cry because my child is entering a world into which I cannot, no matter how desperately I long to intrude. I cry because some stranger is taking over the job, not of teaching my child math or reading, but of nurturing his development of self. And I wonder if she’ll do it with the dedication I demand.
Each September I fight a overhwheliming urge to rush to school to remind the teacher what a very special little person my child is: that he is not just one of a roomful of pupils–he is MY CHILD and would she please, please treat him accordingly. Would she be so kind as to try to get to know his complex personality, his weaknesses, his childish vulnerabilities; would she try never to humiliate him or belittle him; would she notice his bad days and on those days treat him ever so gently because his is, after all, not just one of a sea of little bodies–he is special. He’s mine.
But of course I can’t do that, can’t dictate caring to every teacher my children will encounter. I only can hope that each one of them will know that for all the fantastic educational tools a teacher might use and for all her mastery of subject matter and exciting lesson plans, and for all her intelligence, her most basic responsiblity will be unfulfilled if the element of caring is missing. And the key to that, in my mind, lies in seeing each pupil as somebody’s precious child.
So I sit on my back porch, drinking a peaceful cup of tea and pretending to read Sidney Harris and hope that my children’s teachers see them as unique, complex, fragile, vulnerable beings. I only can hope that the reason they are teachers, after all, is to bring each student ever closer to his potential, not just as a mind, but as a heart and soul as well.
loved it the last time you posted it…..love it this time too! thank you so much. i needed to be reminded…..already 🙂
Sniffle. Dang, this hits home. Especially if you have a kid who is somehow a little different, who needs a little special handling. It is, indeed, a transfer of trust. Beautiful and heart-wrenching at the same time. Wishing both of your children safe passage.
A transfer of trust indeed. I think it might be even more harrowing when you’ve had the best of the best in teachers and you start a new year wondering who or what you’ll get this year.
What a great composition of emotions put into words!
Ah! This gets me every time! Here’s to a fantastic school year!
Thank you for posting this, this sums up exactly how I feel at the beginning of the school year. I always think it will get easier but it never does. I hope your babies come bursting through your door wth stories of how great their first day was and how kind their teacher was to them xx
Thanks for sharing. I needed that.
I read this for the first time and it certainly speaks to me. As mothers we want the very best for our children and there is an implicit trust that their teachers will want that for them too. Such a wonderful vignette.