My little Matthew has always been a charmer. And he likes the ladies. Especially those that fall in the 15 – 24 category.
When he was just 2, we were having ice cream at the local ice cream shop and he spied two adorable, blond, leggy teenage girls sitting across the grass from us. “Can I go talka them Mommy?” Of course, I said. He walks over to them and says “Hi! I’m Matthew, I’ve got ice cream, you like-a my shirt?” Matt, Gabe, Olivia and I howled with laughter. Who was this tiny little bundle of charm and where did he come from?
Fast forward to last summer when we were out in Colorado. We had gone to the souvenir t-shirt shops and seen a t-shirt that the boys just loved. It had a squirrel in front of a line of baby chicks on the front with a caption that read “The chicks all line up to see my nuts!” Gabe “got” it and Matthew didn’t, but Matthew did know that it was inappropriate and funny. The rest of the trip he told everyone he saw “The chicks line up to see my nuts!” and I’d either scurry away embarrassed or try to explain.
The first day of pre-school last fall, Matthew tells his whole class that “You really outta Google “monkey farts”…it’s hilarious!” His teachers, thankfully, thought it was funny and shared it with me as an adorable anecdote. I, however, was a getting a little worried at this point that I had a budding class clown on my hands. Luckily for me, he’s totally adorable and likeable and, as a teacher, I know this can work in his favor.
So finally we’re at the 5p- Conference and the boys attend a sibling event. We go to pick them up and Matthew is sitting on a chair surrounded by 4 or 5 teenage girls on the floor. He’s got the stage, man. He’s smiling and making them laugh and we are thinking how cute it is. We get closer to listen to what he’s saying and he’s telling a knock-knock joke:
Teenage girls: Who’s there?
Teenage girls: Chicken who?
Matthew: The chickens all line up to see my nuts!!!
The girls just roar with laughter…and this time Matthew TOTALLY knows what it means. And he’s totally loving all of this attention at his inappropriate joke.
Do you see what I’m dealing with??? I am in big trouble aren’t I? Not only is he the third-born, which means that you will automatically know more inappropriate things than your first-born counterparts, but he’s been blessed with this charm and ability to captivate an audience and make people clutch their sides with laughter AND he’s a September baby so he’ll be the oldest in his class. He’s a class-clown in the making, I just know it.
I’m in Big Trouble, right?