We all have them, I know. I’m not alone in having a bad mommy moment, I know that. It’s totally normal and, maybe, even expected.
But it still feels really shitty when it happens.
Yesterday, Olivia had an eye appointment…just for a check up. Her regular eye doctor is on medical leave so I had to take her to a new one.
In the same office as the a**hole doctor who told me it wouldn’t matter if she could see or not.
Different doctor, but same office.
So I was already uncomfortable. I did not want to go back there. Ever. And I had all 3 kids with me. We all know how much fun that is. And Matthew decided to act like a fool. It was not a good start to say the least.
The receptionists were bitchy. It was so crowded there was no place for us to sit. The tech that did Olivia’s preliminary tests was not understanding me when I said that she may answer incorrectly but it doesn’t mean she can’t SEE it; she just may be stubborn and not answer correctly.
Then we waited some more.
And some more.
And some more.
Finally, we get taken back to a room to see THE DOCTOR. Olivia sits in the exam chair while we wait (some more) for the doctor. She looks at me and says…
And guess what? She had on a pull-up and it leaked (because they are not meant to hold very much) all. over. the. exam. chair.
So I’m in a room after waiting an hour and a half and Matthew’s acting like an idiot, Olivia’s now covered in pee and I have no diapers. No Pull-Ups. No extra pants. Nothing.
I run to the bathroom to get paper towels to try and clean up the mess as best I could. When I get back, I give the keys to Gabe and ask him to please run out to the car and look for a diaper. I think there are some under the front passenger seat. I explain to him exactly where to look and send him on his way.
He comes back with no diaper. “I can’t find it.”
I tell him again where to look because I KNOW they are in there. It won’t help her wet shorts situation, but at least she’ll have a clean diaper on.
He goes again. And comes back with no diaper. He’s giggling because he thinks this is so fun.
I ask him what he saw when he looked and he said “All I saw was the instruction manual.”
He’s looking in the glovebox. I explain, again, for the 3rd time if you’re counting, where to look.
He goes and comes back again with no diapers. He’s laughing. He’s messing with me.
I lose it.
I grab his face…and unbenknownst to me, he has a jolly rancher in between his teeth and his cheek so when I grabbed it hurt more than it normally would have…and I whisper as mean as I can where to look (again) and that he better come back with a diaper.
Of course, he crumbles. He starts crying. He says “You hurt me!” And then he leaves.
I feel like total shit. I didn’t mean to take it out on him. I just wanted to get Olivia cleaned up, get the chair cleaned up and get the f**k out of there. But instead I took it out on the one person who was trying to help me.
He gets back with the diaper, I change Olivia, I clean up the chair with hand sanitizer.
Still no doctor.
I apologize profusely to Gabe, crying myself, and ask him to forgive me. I explain that I wasn’t mad at him, I was just frustrated with the situation.
I apologize over and over and over again. And cover him with as many kisses as he lets me.
The doctor finally comes in and I’m a total bitch. I answer her questions with one word answers. I don’t elaborate. She’s trying really hard to be friendly, especially because we are new.
But I’m not having it. I’ve been here for 2 hours, we’ve peed all over, we’ve had a terrible mommy moment and I just want to go home.
She says “We need to dilate her eyes to check her prescription. It will take 30 minutes. Is that going to work for you today?”
I managed to not strangle her while I said no, in fact, that will not work today. I also let her know that, while we were waiting, Olivia peed all over the chair and I tried to clean it up as best I could but they may want to go over it again.
We needed to get the f**k out of there.
Did I mention that Gabe had his first practice with his new soccer team in 45 minutes? That he was really nervous?
Still think this wasn’t a really bad mommy moment?
So, thankfully, she sets me up with another appointment next week at her clinic, which is supposed to be faster. So help them if they try and charge me another copay.
And all I have thought about for the last 24 hours is how I treated my angel who was only trying to help because I was at the end of my rope. He said he forgives me. I really hope he does.
Feel free to share a bad mommy moment with me today…misery loves company!