My Firstborn Girl…a birthday flashback

**I’m taking a break from the computer for a couple of days…and wanted to share a couple of my first posts from back in 2008 when I started my blog. You know…back when NO ONE except my mother was reading it?? I hope you enjoy!**

Dear Olivia,

Eight beautiful years ago today you entered the world with a bang. I remember being so excited to meet you, to see you, to hold you…would you look like me or Daddy? Would you have my personality? Would we be as close as my mom and I? Would you like to shop….boys….cheesecake? I couldn’t wait to love you in person as I had loved you for the 9 months you were in my womb. But then you were born and there were whispers and looks and questions. I honestly had no idea that anything was wrong. Four days later we found out that you had Cri-du-Chat Syndrome and the world went black for me for a while. I was terrified of being your mother. I didn’t think I could do it. But guess what? You made sure that not only could I be your mother, but I could be damn good at it. With your first smile at 3 months, that I waited for what seemed like forever for, you made sure that I knew you were in there and loved me and needed me. With your first laugh at 6 months, you made sure I knew you had a wonderful sense of humor that I would thoroughly enjoy. With your first sign of “fish”, I knew you would communicate with us. When you finally signed “Mama”, I thought my heart would explode. I wished for it every Christmas, every birthday, every Mother’s Day and finally, you did it.

I’ve gone from wishing you would walk and waiting for you to run, to watching you take off in front of me in a parking lot and having my heart drop that you would be run over. I’ve gone from wishing you would talk, say anything at all, to getting to hear you say “I love you, Mommy! and “You’re the best Mom in the universe” every day of my life.

I’ve gone from being terrified of being your mother to being terrified of not being your mother. I would not be who I am without you…I would wither without being your mother. I am the luckiest woman on the planet. I thank my lucky stars every day that 8 years ago today I was blessed with you.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.



3 responses to “My Firstborn Girl…a birthday flashback

  1. So glad that you shared this post from before I found your lovely blog. I always feel like I learn from you. Enjoy your time away — I’ll look forward to your return!

  2. “I’ve gone from being terrified of being your mother to being terrified of not being your mother.”

    Quite possibly one of the most beautiful sentences I’ve ever read.

  3. This is really beautiful, and such a wonderful post for a mom to read who is just starting a life with a child with some kind of exceptionality. I like the idea, also, of putting up a post from “back when only your mom read your blog”! I think I’d have to do that soon..except my mom has never read it…more like my best friend and husband.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s