What I’ve learned by being Olivia’s mother

**I’m taking a break from the computer for a couple of days…and wanted to share a couple of my first posts from back in 2008 when I started my blog. You know…back when NO ONE except my mother was reading it?? I hope you enjoy!**

Please don’t think my vanity got the best of me…but sometimes you do need to stop and think about things that make you special! I was inspired by Riley’s Mom to do a list of things I’ve learned from being Olivia’s mother…she did 21, I’m not sure I will have time to do that many!

1.) I am stronger than I think. I remember calling my Mom 2 days after we found out about Olivia’s diagnosis and it was the first day I was by myself. I got on the internet (big mistake back then) and only found one page on Cri du Chat and it was awful. I called her and said “I can’t do this. I can’t be her mother. I’m not good enough.” She hung up and came right over and talked me back to reality. I can do it and I do it well if I do say so myself.

2.) Even though I am strong, I need a village. I hate asking for help. It makes me feel weak and I don’t like that feeling. Having Olivia has taught me that it’s ok to ask for help and, in fact, I should ask for help. I am blessed to have an extremely strong support system of family and friends. It was hard asking for help at first, but when Gabe came along 13 months later and I couldn’t give them both a bath without them drowning, I just decided I had to ask for help. I need a village and I’m willing to ask for it!

3.) Live in the moment. Olivia always lives in the moment. She doesn’t stay mad at you for 2 days over something silly that happened. She’s totally in the moment and I try so hard to be that way. Have you read Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth? It really changed me. It’s all about living in the moment. By living in the moment, your world changes. If your husband/kids/mom/dad/whomever does something to upset you, you deal with it and move on. It’s over, done with, not to be brought up again. I wish I could have done this more at the beginning…when I would lay awake at night worrying about her future or what someone said yesterday. What’s the point? It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday…all you have is today. It’s a great way to live!

4.) People, kids especially, are kinder than you think. I was so worried about school and friends for Olivia. Would she get teased a lot? Would she ever have friends? Would people stare? She doesn’t, she does (tons!) and they don’t!! The kids at school have been amazing with her. I have met some of the kindest children I had ever wished for. She has wonderful friends in her life. The people at school are amazing. Total strangers have been so helpful and kind. If you meet Olivia, you are changed and you fall in love with her. I’m sure she’ll get teased at some point, but it won’t matter. The love overpowers the bad!!

5.) Life is too short to worry about things that don’t matter. If I could have back all the time I worried about my weight, my looks, people who didn’t like me, I’d probably have 10 more years!! Life is too short to worry about silly things…life is too short to worry, period!

6.) My husband, Matt, is truly my partner. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Truly. He is my partner, his is wonderful and I wouldn’t have made it without him.

7.) My parents really love me no matter what.I’ve always struggled with wanting to be perfect. It’s just part of my DNA I guess. I’ve realized that I don’t have to be perfect for my parents to love me. They love me no matter what.

8.) My boys are wise beyond their years and are better people for having Olivia for a sister. I worried about what it would be like for Olivia’s siblings. Would they resent her? Would they get teased? My boys are amazing. Truly. I call them “Old Souls”. It’s like they’ve been here before and they know how the world works better than we do. Olivia’s just Olivia and that’s that. They are two of the kindest, sweetest, thoughtful boys I’ve ever known.

9.) People say stupid things but that doesn’t make them mean. When Olivia was first born, people were always commenting on how she cried like a cat, how she was so tiny, things like that. This drove me crazy. I think I stayed in the house for 6 months because I hated going places and hearing these things. I would get so mad at people. I have realized they weren’t being mean (maybe a little rude, but whatever!), they just were commenting. I’ve learned to not be so sensitive and just relax a little. Although I still get pretty hot when I hear the “R” word…no one should ever use that word.

10.) Being a Mom is what I was put on this Earth to do. I’ve learned this from all of my kids. I am so passionate about being a good mother. I’ve always wondered what my purpose in life was. Now I know. My purpose in life is to be the best mother I can be. I sure try!

I could go on and on and on…but that’s enough for now. I would love to see what you’ve learned from being a mother, a wife, a sister, whatever!!

**Watch for my upcoming review post for CSN stores…I’m still trying to decide what to review!!**

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3 responses to “What I’ve learned by being Olivia’s mother

  1. Hee hee I told you I was reading back then. I still love this list. You’d have done 21 too if you had a child with Down syndrome aka T21… those lists of 21 are hard.

    We have both learned so much from our kids. I have to stop and remind myself that I have so much to learn from my kids. Our kids have so much to share with the work and teach us if we stop and listen.

  2. This is a great list and I am glad I had the privilege of reading it. Thanks for the post.

  3. What a great post idea! I loved your list.

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