Sugar and Spice

**To catch up on this Flashback Series, click the Flashback page at the top**

**Today’s word at Momalom’s 5 for 10 is “Memory”…how appropriate?! That’s a !! for sure!**

The 2 pink lines showed up on three different tests. She was fairly certain this meant She was pregnant. Pregnant!! Pregnant!!! Pregnant!!! She was wanted to run around the block screaming it; She wanted to shout it from the rooftops; She wanted to call every single person She knew and say it out loud—“I’m pregnant!!!”

But She was also terrified and apprehensive. She wasn’t sure if She could handle losing another baby; if things didn’t go well this time, She wasn’t sure She would make it. But She had to try, didn’t She? The joy and fulfillment She would experience if this Hope came true would be worth it. Totally.

She called the doctor to make her first appointment; they said they didn’t need to see Her until 12 weeks. What? She lost her first baby for no reason…why wouldn’t they want to see Her right away? To protect Her? To do something that would ensure it wouldn’t happen again? She quickly learned that’s not the way it went. They would see her at 12 weeks.

She went to her 12 week appointment and He came too. He knew that She was terrified and needed Her. Plus, He was thrilled and excited too. The doctor came in and did the exam and tried to calm Her nerves. The doctor put the goop on Her belly and put the Doppler device on her abdomen and listened. Nothing. So she moved the device to another spot and listened. Nothing. She moved to one more spot. And the most beautiful noise that was ever heard began to play in the room. The beautiful, glorious, clip-clop noise of a baby’s heartbeat filled the room. Tears of joy came quickly and ran down Her face. He squeezed Her hand and smiled. The doctor breathed a sigh of relief.

She left the appointment feeling giddy. She had never heard a heartbeat before. With her first baby, they had an ultrasound at the first appointment and saw it on the screen but never heard it…and then never heard it again. They had heard the heartbeat at 12 weeks. She hoped this was a good sign; She believed it was a good sign.

She had acne from the age of 6 and had finally gotten it under control around age 21 when She found an endocrinologist who knew what he was talking about. But She couldn’t take her medicine while pregnant and Her face and neck was ravaged by acne. Totally and completely ravaged. She was gaining weight like crazy even though She was exercising daily and eating as healthy as possible. But She didn’t care. She was pregnant. Hugely and unflatteringly pregnant.

The weeks seemed to fly by. She got bigger and bigger. Her nose got wider and wider. Her face seemed to explode as did her ankles. She didn’t even look like herself. But She didn’t care. She was pregnant!!

The 20th week came and it was time for the “big” ultrasound. They would finally get to see their baby…and find out if they were having a girl or a boy. She honestly didn’t care either way, She just wanted the baby to be healthy. That’s all that mattered. The ultrasound technician came in and put the cold, blue gel on Her growing abdomen; She put the wand on Her belly and there the baby was in all of its glory.

10 toes. 10 fingers. A heartbeat. A spine. Eyes. Nose. Heart. All perfect and all the most amazing thing they had ever seen.

And last, but not least, tiny little labia and no tiny little penis.

It was a girl.


She had told herself it didn’t matter…but as a woman with only one sister and a single mom, She was ridiculously excited to be having a girl. The closeness they would share like She and Her Mom did; the dresses; the clothes; shoe shopping; the piano lessons; the books they would read; her first bike!; boys that would break her heart; dances they would buy dresses for; dance lessons!; sleepovers; slumber parties; college; weddings; watching her become a mother too. All of the wonderful things She imagined when She heard those three beautiful words…

It’s a Girl!!!


17 responses to “Sugar and Spice

  1. I love hearing other peoples pregnancy and birth stories. My husband has never missed a pre-natal visit he gets excited for every one since the doctor sometimes does a quick ultrasound to make sure everything is still normal with the baby. When I was told I was having a girl I shouted “it’s a girl!” I was elated.

  2. Oh gosh, I think I held my breath through the whole post! What a vivid post. And that clip clop, oh how I miss it. It’s amazing, simply amazing.

  3. I always thought I would have a boy, then when they told me I was having a girl it made me feel oddly calm. Wasn’t sure I wanted a girl before then but already knew I couldn’t live without her.

  4. So wonderful. Though I’m totally in love with my son, the love that I have for my daughter is completely different. Not more, or less, just different. There’s just something about a little girl…

  5. This is a really, really sweet post. It took me right back to the first time I was pregnant–all of the bottled-up excitement and fear and anxiety…well put. Thanks for sharing your memory, and bringing back a little of my own.

  6. I had 2 boys before my girl, and while I love my boys and I’m so glad they’ve found me, there’s just something about having a daughter. Even though, right now, she won’t stop screaming at me.

  7. Happiness. Courage. Memories. You described all three subjects in one post. Loved it. Thank You.

  8. What a lovely memory. Your Flashback Fridays are always my favorite, even when they have broken my heart. I know waht a HUGE moment that was for you. Thank you for sharing!!!

  9. Goosebumps again! Love this!

  10. ah yes. The clip clop sound. The most beautiful sound imaginable isn’t it? Oh what a happy memory – thank you sharing!!!

  11. I wasn’t sure how this would end, clenching my fists in anticipation. So happy it ended well. A beautiful little girl.

  12. This takes me back to when I laid in a similar room and prayed with my whole heart for that loud and certain clip clop. The seconds last an eternity don’t they?

    My clip clop was a girl, too. I wish I’d allowed myself to travel down that glorious path of the future rather than hold my breath through the entire pregnancy.

  13. I love flashback Fridays! I’m sorry about the acne though–what a rotten side effect! You have such nice skin now, I’d never have thought!

  14. You had me on the edge of my seat reading your post. I remember those same feelings, the excitement, anticipation and worry.

    I’m so happy that you had a girl!

    Popping over from Momalom.

  15. It was an amazing moment for me too when I found out I was having a girl after already having a boy. Somehow I thought I’d only have boys or my husband could only produce boys or some other nonsensical thing! I was thrilled – I think women are always thrilled!

    I’m over here from momalom!

  16. As I read this my children are having a loud squirt-gun fight outside and will need me at any moment. But I couldn’t leave until I’d finished reading. I know what you mean about the girl. I was so shocked to learn that my third was a girl, and that my daughter would have a sister. Yay yay yay! I didn’t even really believe it until she was born, and the first words I heard in the delivery room after E’s birth were Sarah’s: “Is it a girl?” Yes. Yes indeedy.

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