She couldn’t believe she was actually pregnant. She had this unreasonable fear that She wouldn’t be able to have children; probably because She wanted it so badly. Having a husband as wonderful as Him was unbelievable; now to be pregnant with His child? Amazing.
The weeks flew by. She made it to her 10 week initial check up in no time. No morning sickness, just a little queasiness. Her face was horribly broken out as She wasn’t able to take her hormone medicine…but She could deal with that for a baby. A stickler about her weight, She was a little freaked out that She had already gained 15 pounds even though She was working out every day and eating healthy…but She would be ok with gaining weight for the baby. She read every book She could get her hands on about being pregnant. She gave up coffee, soft cheese, deli meat; She rested and took her prenatal vitamins. She did everything she was supposed to. At her 10 week appointment, they couldn’t hear the heartbeat so they did an ultrasound. Right there on the screen She saw her tiny little baby. They couldn’t believe it. Tears of joy flowed all around. She left with the first snapshots of her perfect little angel; She promptly put the picture up on the fridge. She could already imagine the fridge filled with pictures of her little one; with toddler drawings and pre-school craft projects. She couldn’t wait.
They made it to the 12 week mark before telling anyone except their parents and sisters. She was so excited She could burst. She had bought maternity clothes; this was her first pregnancy and She was so excited to wear them. Finally She could tell everyone—her friends and coworkers and extended family. They talked of names, they dreamed up the nursery, they imagined everything their little one would do and would be.
At 14 weeks, She had her next check-up. She felt great and couldn’t wait to go and hear the heartbeat and maybe even see the little one again on the ultrasound machine. They weighed her (15 lbs…ugh), checked her blood pressure, all the usual stuff. The doctor came in and tried to hear the heartbeat but couldn’t. It was not her usual doctor…maybe this one didn’t know about her tilted uterus. Just like last time. But this time she was 4 weeks farther along. They should be able to hear a heartbeat by now.
“Let’s do an ultrasound and see if the baby’s hiding again!” the doctor said.
They went back to the ultrasound room and tech began to do the exam. The tech put the cool gel on her stomach and moved the probe around until she could see the baby. She did the measurements and said somewhat hesitantly…”Your 10 weeks, right?”
She said “No, actually, I’m 14 weeks.”
Then the tech stopped and looked at the screen and then quickly left to get the doctor. Her heartbeat was racing by now; She looked at Him with worry in her eyes. “It will be alright, right?”
The doctor came back in…moved the probe…looked at the screen. The doctor slowly put the probe down, turned to Her and said “I’m so sorry but there’s no heartbeat.”
The whole world went black. She reached for Him and cried and died a little inside.