Yes, yes and more yes.

I sat down to write today and couldn’t. I feel like I have nothing lately. Nothing to say, nothing to give, nothing. I stumbled across this article today and thought “YES!”. This is it. This is exactly it. And it’s hitting me hard lately. I’m so exhausted, emotionally and physically, that I want to give up. I won’t, but that’s how I feel lately. I’m just…tired. This article stated it perfectly and says exactly what I feel. Exactly.

Special Needs Parenting

I guess I’m feeling like carrying my cross lately rather than wearing my badge. Today is one of those days where I just can’t pretend that I’m ok. I’m not. Olivia’s been a handfull lately, I feel like all I do is yell, I just want to be alone. I went to pick out a card for Gabe’s birthday (he’ll be 10 on the 24th) and I just started crying. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because he’s 10 and so grown up or if I’m just tired. But I cried. The nice ladies at Hallmark handed me a tissue and made sure I knew it was totally normal to start bawling in the middle of their store.

Life is like that sometimes, right?

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8 responses to “Yes, yes and more yes.

  1. I’ve been there so many times! You’ll get through it, (we always do). Take a breath, get away for a bit, and recharge your batteries. It sounds like you have the kind of husband who’s very willing to give you that time you need :)

  2. You do need a breath of fresh air! I try to head it off before it gets to the crying in the card shop stage (I have so been there…), but I don’t always make it. I was just telling myself that this month is the perfect month to try and regroup, before the end-of-the-school-year rush. I know I need to fortify myself. Hope I haven’t just made you feel worse instead of better!

  3. I’m sorry things are tough right now. I’m so glad you encountered nice ladies at the Hallmark store. How sweet is that? And yes! Ten is mature and hard to face and you have every right to be a little weepy about that and the fact that Olivia is giving you a hard time.

    Hang in there. Know that you’re not alone as you bear your cross. Others are here and willing to carry it right along with you.

  4. Yes, life is like that sometimes, and I know when it’s this way for me I never want to hear advice. However, I hope to tell you gently this: what you are feeling is OK. It’s OK to be sad, and tired, and angry. That doesn’t make you any less of a person! In fact, I think it makes you into a very brave person because you’re willing to admit these feelings and put them in writing.

  5. I feel like a lot of people are at that point right about now so don’t feel lonely. We will all make it through and understand that things will be okay and we have so much to be thankful for. But…damn does it feel good for a good cry sometimes, and I often still want my mom! Hang in there!

  6. You are not alone. There are so many others in the same spot. You are not expected to be strong all the time. You are not expected to be chipper all the time. Every now and again it’s fine to say Life Sucks.
    Know that I love you and all that you do. You are amazing – even on your worst day. I’m proud to call you my friend. I’m here always if you need me. And, I almost always have wine :)

  7. Yes life is like that sometimes. I do not have a special needs child and I sometimes feel like there is just nothing left of me, nothing left to give. It passes.

  8. It is acceptable to embrace what you are feeling. Claim those emotions and then do your best to move on. Hang in there. xoxo

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