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Her parents’ divorce really hit everyone hard. She has so many memories of those years when the divorce was fresh and painful. It was really…terrible. But as an adult, she realizes that without that pain she might not be who she is today. However, it was so incredibly painful.
The divorce was not amicable. At. All. Her parents’ had never fought and now they were at each other’s throats constantly. They hated each other. It was really hard to witness. Her Mom moved to the basement for a while until they decided exactly how this was going to work. Then they tried sharing the house and an apartment by alternating weeks. That, obviously, didn’t work. Then her stayed in the apartment and her Mom stayed in the house. Then her Mom bought a little house in the “city” (remember they lived in farm country so the “city” is a relative term…it just meant there were other houses within a mile!) and her Dad moved back into their first house. It was really…difficult.
She constantly felt in the middle. If she was at her Dad’s, she felt like she couldn’t say nice or good things about her Mom. If she was at her Mom’s, she felt like she shouldn’t say nice or good things about her Dad. It took her a while to adjust too. When coming home from her Dad’s, it took her a while to “warm up” to her Mom. The same when she’d go to her Dad’s from being with her Mom. It was just so weird. She hated it. The thing she hated the most was seeing her parents fight. That was truly the worst. All that anger was hard to watch as a 9/10-year-old girl.
She was a pleaser too which just made it worse. If she could have just been more of a “whatever” kind of girl, it would have been easier. But she just wanted everyone to like her. To have both her parents be happy. And that was not happening. No one was happy.
Her teacher at school pulled her aside one day to tell her that he knew about the divorce and that if she needed to talk, he was there for her. That made her heart happy. He was such a nice man and it felt good to know that she could talk to another grown-up if she needed to. She never took him up on his offer, but it was still nice to know.
Her parents made her go to counseling and it was awful. She didn’t feel like the therapist was listening or understood what she was feeling. Maybe she just couldn’t express what she was feeling properly. Who knows. Eventually her Mom realized that therapy was not helping and she didn’t have to go any more.
All she really wanted was her parents, her sister and herself to be happy again.
Was that too much to ask?