Elastamom's Excerpts

***Grab my button and share what made you happy this week!***

I had a fantastic Mother’s Day! Matt arranged a catered brunch for me, my mom, his mom and the rest of the family. It was so nice because no one had to cook! He and the kids also got me this gorgeous mother’s ring.

I love looking at it and thinking about how blessed I am.

Gabe and I had a great conversation that I will share with you next week. Made my heart very happy.

My azaleas are in bloom! Between the trees on our street and these bushes along with the green grass, my place is gorgeous right now!

Matt and I celebrated our 15th anniversary this week. I love that man. He makes me happy every day.

In other news, only 3 weeks left of school!

What made you happy this week?

“The truth about love is it comes and it goes…it’s all the poetry that you’ve ever heard…” — P!nk

After 15 years of marriage, I’ve learned a few things. P!nk is dead on. The truth about love is it comes and it goes. Sometimes you feel like your heart is going to burst because he fills you up with so much love. Other times you just wish he would stop farting so loudly in bed and take out the garbage. Sometimes you can’t wait to share a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate and tales of your day and other days you just want to go upstairs, shut the door, enjoy your glass of wine alone and read a book. Sometimes he’s the funniest person in the room and you laugh out loud at his jokes. Other times you just want quiet. But the truth about true love? It’s ok that it comes and it goes because at the end of each day you feel lucky that he’s yours.

We were so young when we got married. At the time I remember being offended on my wedding day when someone said I looked like a baby and was too young to be getting married. I was 22, how dare they! Now I see 22 year olds and think they look 12 so I understand. It’s amazing to me that Matt and I knew we were right at such a young age. I could hear his song to my heart and knew it was just for me.

From the day he let me borrow his sweatshirt, to the day he didn’t leave me a tip, to the day he showed up at my sorority house wasted and every single moment since he sent me that care package, I’ve been completely his. We’ve been through more in our 15 years than most people do in a lifetime and we’ve come out stronger. There’s no one else on this planet I’d rather be with. Each and every day.

We’ve done a great job over the years of putting us first. It’s not easy to do when you have three kids. We both know that the kids are happy if we are happy. We also know that some day the boys will have their own life and we better still like each other. We make an effort each and every day to connect on a level that doesn’t include pull-ups, soccer,homework and schedules. In 11 years when we are (sort of) empty nesters, I don’t want to look at him and say “Who are you?”, I want to look at him and say “YEE HAW! Let’s get this party started!”

Not only would I still pick Matt, I’d marry him the morning after he let me borrow his sweatshirt. And I’d never, ever let him go.

Here’s hoping and wishing and praying we are lucky enough to have many, many, many more.

It started with a bit of fuzz on her nether region. Which soon became totally full. As for any parent, it’s strange to see your child grow up in these ways. As a parent of a child with special needs, it’s even more strange. You have this daughter, whose body thinks she’s 12, but whose mind thinks she’s a toddler. When they don’t match, it’s very strange. How can one still be wearing a pull-up and have hair down there? But it happens.

Last fall, I noticed that the half-camis weren’t doing their job anymore. It was time for a…*gulp*…bra. We headed out to get fitted and measured and try them on. Too big for camis, too small for real bras, but luckily we found some that worked. It is beyond weird to go bra shopping with your daughter in a stroller. But we did it.

When this happened, Matt threw his hands up and said “I’m out!”. He sort of freaked out when he saw the clasps on the back. These weren’t just pull-them-over-her-head type bras, these were real. He was having a hard time with it. I was too but all of a sudden it hit me how very strange and weird and uncomfortable this must be for him. I spend most of my time keeping myself in the right headspace and Matt’s always there to help me. But now I needed to be there for him. To think of how difficult this must be for him. Normally by age 12, fathers don’t ever see their daughters naked. Ever. Definitely not when hair and bras enter the picture. But for us, it’s a necessity. I can’t always give her a bath or change her clothes or get her dressed. Sometimes he HAS to do it. It’s not lost on me how difficult it must be for him.

It’s so easy for me, since we have a daughter with special needs, to always think about the things that I’m missing out on as a mother to a girl. Most of the time Matt is pretty unaffected by these things. Very little fazes him and for that, and a million other things, I am very thankful. We often talk about how he would feel if our only boy had special needs and he agrees that it would be harder on him. But this is one of those areas that’s much more difficult for him. Bath time, bathroom time, clothes changing time have all entered a whole new dimension that we’re getting used to. It’s another reminder of how lucky I am to have this awesome partner in life who, after the initial “NO WAY JOSE!”, jumps in and goes along.

I’ve always adored my Mom. Sure, there were times over the years when I was a brat and thought she was mean, but I’ve always adored her.

And I’ve always, always, always felt loved and adored in return.

I remember always wanting more of my Mom. I couldn’t wait for her to pick me up from daycare. I couldn’t wait for her to finally rescue me from the evil throes of Danny Cunningham who tortured me at the babysitter’s. One particular horrid afternoon, after Danny shoved me down a slide face first and knocked my four front teeth out, I remember sitting on my sitter’s hot concrete driveway with a washcloth in my mouth waiting and waiting for her to get there.

My Mom was a working Mom. For most of my life, she was a single working Mom. In second or third grade, she took the day off and went on our field trip to Greenfield Village. It poured and poured and poured. It still to this day is one of my favorite days. I was so proud to have her there with me. My sister and I would come home from school, do our homework, play and get dinner started and then Mom would be home. I couldn’t wait for her to come home.

My Mom wasn’t an exciting Mom. We weren’t constantly doing crafts or baking or doing super fun things together. We would talk, read, watch TV and just hang out. We were just together. And I loved being with her. Always. Over the weekend, on Mother’s Day, I was pondering motherhood and my relationship with my Mom when it hit me.

A few weeks ago, I came across this quote from Toni Morrison: Do your eyes light up when your child enters the room? For the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about this in terms of me as the mother. Yes, my eyes light up when my kids enter the room. When I get them off the bus. When I wake them up. When I tuck them in. When they ask me questions. Yes, I can honestly say, my eyes do light up.

Today, on Mother’s Day, it hit me. This is what made my Mom such a wonderful Mom. It wasn’t what we did, or how she did it, it was that I knew I was loved. Her eyes lit up. When she picked me up from daycare, when we came to breakfast in the morning, when she picked me up from a weekend at Dad’s. And guess what? Her eyes still light up when she sees me. I noticed that today. And her eyes light up for my kids too. She always says she doesn’t know why the kids like to come over to her house so much because they don’t do anything special. Now I can pinpoint it for her.

Your eyes light up, Mom.

I hope I tell you enough how much I love you. And I hope my eyes light up for you too.

Happy Mother’s Day.

**Grab my button and share what made you happy this week!**

We had so much fun at the wedding we went to last weekend…without kids! My body was sore from dancing, my face and abs hurt from laughing and smiling. It was a blast.

The weather this week has been G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!

Gabe and Olivia have been learning about human growth and development in science. It’s fun to hear what they’ve learned so far…and tease Gabe like crazy!

The five of us went shopping on Monday after school for new glass for Olivia and new shorts for Gabe. No whining or fighting or anything!

I watched the movie Flight this week. Have you seen it? The plane crash scene was difficult to watch as was his downward spiral through alcoholism and drugs. But, Denzel can act! It was still a great movie.

My street could not be any prettier right now. It also smells soooooo good! No wonder our town is called the City of Trees!

What made you happy this week??

When we received Olivia’s diagnosis, I was inundated with things Olivia probably wouldn’t be able to do. It was hard to imagine her walking, riding a bike, talking, anything. When she eventually did these things, we marveled. But you know what is even more exciting? The little things she’s able to do that I never even imagined.

I love that she…

Has favorite songs on her ipad..her latest favorite is Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” which she calls “She’s just a girl”.

Asks me to turn up certain songs in the car so she can sing along.

Sings along to songs at the top of her lungs.

Makes her brothers give her goodnight kisses.

Calls Matt “your husband” and me “your wife”.

Laughs at jokes and makes her own jokes.

Giggles, and laughs and snorts and cracks us up.

Tells us she loves us each and every day.

Makes up stories just to be funny. Like how she’s singing The Black-Eyed Peas in the talent show at school.

Has the ability to use inapprorpriate words appropriately…like calling my MIL a jackass, or her bus driver a moron…

Tells me I’m beautiful and fun and the best Mom ever.

Asks for Oreos after dinner and loves mashed potatoes but can take or leave french fries.

Has opinions about everything from what she’s wearing, to what she’s watching, to what book to read before bedtime.

It’s these little things that I never dreamed of…the little things that make a person unique and special…that make me so happy she’s mine.

This week is International Cri du Chat Week…please visit http://www.fivepminus.org for more information on our special children!

International Cri du Chat Awareness week is this week…and in honor of our beautiful children, the U.S. society has put together a video sharing things our children CAN do even though the doctors said they would never do them. I definitely wanted to participate in this project.

Every day is difficult. It is. That’s the truth. Every day Olivia struggles with some part of her life. And we struggle along with her. Whether it’s using the bathroom, or getting dressed, or fixing her hair, or walking to the bus, or picking her skin, or hitting, or using mean words, or trying to speak so that others can understand her…she struggles. And we struggle. It hurts. Every day. To see your daughter struggle to do the most basic things. It’s a very dark, horrible place that you can get stuck in if you let yourself. That’s the truth. So every day you have to snap yourself out of it. Some days, I can pop right out of it. And other days? I’m stuck like I’m sinking in quicksand. The best advice I give to myself? Focus on what she CAN do. It’s not easy, and there are days that I’m not capable of doing it, but it works. There is so, so, so much that my girl can do. Things we never dreamed of. Things the dumbass doctors told us she wouldn’t do. We are so proud of her it’s impossible to express that much pride.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch all of the things my beautiful, amazing, perfectly made little girl CAN do.

I’m guest posting over at What to Expect When You’re Expecting today! I know, I’m not expecting, I’m an old Mom! But over there I’m writing about how I learned to stop worrying and just relax and enjoy being a mother. I’d be thrilled if you’d go check it out!